Where did the days go??

Howdy!

Sorry, I'm in a real corny mood at the moment, I missed the second half of my lunch because I had a house tour arrive, so I am taking my last 20 minutes now in which I shall start this and finish it later on this evening after all my dinner duties. Speaking of which, I impressed everyone with my washing up skills last night! As I am rostered on with Program and because of various things, last night was the first time I was washing up after dinner. My gosh you should have seen me, half hour flat, if that! I am dish washing QUEEN!! Go me! Hehe he.

Righty-o, all the happenings since I last wrote. Where do I begin?? Okay well I left off with the visit from Sheree Blair. We were talking about that for DAYS afterwards and how the woman in charge of The World Bureau thinks Ghana is a part of the Arab Region...hmmm and how Sheree had lipstick on her teeth, and me sounding like I know Mrs Howard personally. I dread to think how the photos turned out. And since I'm the one that apparently looks 'like a dork' in the Pax Lodge staff photos because my uniform is so formal, I actually turned out to be the really well dressed one. Minus my hat. I really didn't think it was necissary.

The weekend bought the arrival of the most adorable little Brownies. They arrived Friday night (22nd) and walked into reception where I was sitting waiting for the others to head down to the George. Regardless, they came in all giggles and laughter and cuteness which has almost reduced me to tears because I am sitting there going 'Oh my gosh they're like my girls! I miss my girls!!' he he he, so Julie you better go hug them all for me!! Needless to say my weekend was delightful and better still when we had to run an evening program for them, it was just like Monday nights at Guides! Minus the dinner stop on the way home of course..mmmm mushroom risotto...yummmmm.....

At some stage during the day on Sunday I realised I'd officially been living at Pax Lodge for a whole month and do you know what? It was such a scary thought! I can't believe I made it through the first month. It was a bit hairy for a while there, but you know ('you know'....argh Erin says that all the time and now I am saying it!!) it's all good now. Late Sunday night, around 10ish I guess, Monique and I decided at the last minute it was an occasion worth celebrating so we did a mad rush down to The George (no I am not becoming an alcoholic...mind you after last nights effort....) because it closes at 10:30 on a Sunday night. Several drinks later we were walking back with Marie, her mum and aunt plus a bag of ice (don't ask). They were singing and yeah it was hilarious because they'd had one too many. 'Grown Ups' are hilarious sometimes!!

Monday saw the departure of the Brownies (no I didn't cry but we did the whole sad wave off thing) and the arrival of a new HA. Yes, another Erin and yes she's from America too!! So I'm in an Erin sandwich (I have one either side of my room). My issue with her at this stage is that she's the kind of person you can only take in small doses. I mean even old Erin was saying 'bloody American' and that's got to be saying something!! Also that day Monique came down quite ill with symptoms similar to what I had a week or more back. Which was worrying. But she was fine the next day and wasn't half as bad as I was and for her sake I'm glad!! We had a group of New Zealanders check in as well who actually turned out to be the New Zealand contingent attending SWING!! For those non Guiding people, SWING is an International camp being held here in the UK which one of the girls in my region is attending. The group may call into Pax Lodge after camp. And then came Rebecca, a HA to be who starts at the end of August. She's about to bus through Europe before coming to work here. She seems nice, sweet and quiet. We'll fix that :-) Actually you want to know something. No one, and I mean no one, believes me when I tell them I'm kinda quiet and reserved back home. They think I'm joking around with them!! They don't believe I'm a nice level headed, responsible, introverted stress head...

At some stage in the evening I had four people crammed into my room which is pretty amazing when you consider how big it is!! But it was kinda nice. One thing I have noticed here is that no one really mixes unless we go out for a drink. Even then you only go because you happen to be walking past when the initial idea was talked about. No one mixes. There's like a gap between the HAs and the other staff. Even between some of the HAs. Erin and I are now on a mission to get people to socialise a bit more. So yes, the four of us were in my room talking for like two hours! It really was nice. But wait for it, even later in the night Erin came in and some three hours later, close to 1am, she left! I've found someone to have interesting, deep, serious conversations with!! Yay!! We are actually very similar people. We plan too much. We dwell too much on things we can't change (I can hear at least two of you passing comment). We're both workaholics, though she's not as bad as me (and again I'm hearing comments, if not lectures!!).

As you can see, Monday was a big day.

Tuesday was my day off. So Erin, Erin and I headed into London and went to one of the greatest places on earth. HAMLEY'S!!!! Oh my gosh, this is heaven for the big kid in all of us. It's on Regent Street and is a massive toy store, seven floors of toys!! It's incredible! We spent three hours in there!!! We only went in to get Marie's birthday present! So the two highlights of Hamley's. First is the trivial fact that it's the 25th anniversary of the Rubicks cube. So there was a big party happening in there and they had the Champions of the UK and Australia in there showing how quickly they can solve a Rubicks cube. Now I've tried those things in the past and anything other than peeling the stickers off or using a screw driver takes far too long. These people, they were solving them in about 20-30 seconds flat. I have it on video! It was just mind blowing. I mean the cubes were coming from members of the public so they weren't fixed or anything. It truly was amazing. The aussie Janelle stood there and explained the method of how she solves them (apparently its in the the number of twists and clicks or whatever) but we just couldn't comprehend it! We literally stood there with our mouths open!

Second highlight was just so cute!! I had no intentions of buying one, but I had to in the end...we went into the Hamley's Teddy Bear Factory. You can make a bear pretty much from scratch. You pick out the bear, you then stuff it and you even get to choose how much stuffing you want in there. Like floppy, or cuddley or pudgey. Then it gets stiched up and you put a red heart in there with a wish, you're given an ID card to fill in to create the identity and then you're sent off to what can only be described as the most oddest form of clothes shopping. Bear Style! I am serious, there is just rack after rack of suits and shoes and hats and shirts and shorts and bags and glasses. I took me twenty minutes to settle on the outfit my lovely fellow (George...) was to wear!! But oh my gosh! Teddy lovers heaven!! I made my own Teddy!! And its so much more special because you really are almost creating a life! Identity and all!!

Following on from my momentary lapse into Childhood, we decided it was time for food. I'm telling you, they have a warped idea of what a baked potato is over here. All I'm going to say is that at least the cutlery was cool enough for me bring back here!! Don't freak out, it'splastic I didn't steal it, but bright green and hard and yeah, just really snazzy stuff. Good enough for a dilly bag. From there we had the wanders and found ourselves in a place called Carnaby Street. Wellme being the bright spark I was couldn't figure out why 'Carnaby' was ringing bells in my head. D'uh hellO!! When I actually figured out what the significance was, I felt so dumb. But I've been to Carnaby Street!! Yay!

We then let the new girl go explore the Maritime Museum (I don't care if it is free, it doesn't interest me...) so Erin and I decided quite spur of the moment style (and so unlike us!!!) to get tickets for our big adventure which took place on Wednesday. Thus I found myself back at Waterloo train station (memories......) and a little freaked out when I hear a woman telling a police office she'd seen one of the men on the wanted posters for the bombings. So quite quickly we moved away and darted into the ticket office, I guess if we couldn't hear it, we didn't think about it. Much. After getting our tickets we headed back to Pax Lodge and not long after we were back the session group came back from Brownsea Island. I promise you not one of those girls smiled as they got off the bus. They all looked so tired! From what I hear they were all so glad to have showers and be in a dry place!

That night Erin and I started off sitting in the HA corridoor by ourselves. Monique came out shortly after, followed by new Erin at which point Monique offered to go make us hot chocolate. She returned, old Erin chucked some microwave popcorn in and I broke out my last pack of Guide buscuits (which Monique ate most of!) and within the next 20 minutes we aquired some seven more people! We got eleven of us sitting in the corridoor on the carpet talking like you wouldn't believe!! Success!! Erin tells me it took my initiative to start it, but I say we both played an equal role. It was just nice to all sit and talk socially and not have to worry about the guests or dishes or any number of other things.

Wednesday morning was quite hilarious really. Whenever Erin and I bumped into each other, we'd do an excitable clapping of the hands and say really excitably 'We're going to Stonehenge' ...and thus you have it, the big day out to Salisbury and Stonehenge. Of course in great British style it rained. But that's okay because it only rained lightly and didn't get heavy until later in the afternoon. Amused ourselves on the train by talking for the first hour, and then pulled out a deck of cards for the next half hour. A fellow commutor at one point jumped in on our conversation and corrected us on things we were talking about back home. How dare she...but that's okay, because 'We were going to Stonehenge!!'. This continued on through the day, even after we'd been there, only it changed slightly.

The train edges closer to Salisbury. The fields are misty, there is still some light drizzle happening. The air has become some what cooler. Into the platform we pull, and quickly get off the carriage and feel the sudden drop in temperature. Yeah, we're in England all right. Out we trot, through the puddles, hunched under hoods and jackets and scarves. We're going to Stonehenge!! Onto the bus we get, a tour bus at that and a double decker. Through the winding roads of Salisbury, past the medievil houses and shops, gazing wonderously at the Salisbury Cathedral and it's slightly leaning (29 degrees west) 404 foot high spire. And still it drizzles. The winds blow. And stop. Soon buildings fall away and we head out to the highway. Our tour guide fills us in on all the local information. Out past more fields, wet sheep, burial mounds. The mist lingers. The drizzle returns. Finally the heater kicks in. Up one hill, and down another. Then the last and highest hill, over the next crest we shall see the wonderous Stonehenge, the pilgrimage at equinox. Up we go. The drizzle stops. The clouds have lifted a little. Erin and I give each other one last excited look. We're going to Stonehenge. The road levels out. Around the next bend. I hold my breath. We descend into the vally, the moment has arrived. The bus is silent. We're at Stonehenge!! We're at...isTHAT it???

Yep you guessed it, and I'll admit it, I was slightly disapointed. Erin frowned at me, 'you're not that disapointed are you?'. I'd been told you couldn't get too close, so I was okay with that, I was prepared for that. But I was somewhat dishearted by three things. 1). The fact that it's so close to the highway 2) The number of people and buses that were there and 3) The actual size of it. I was kinda expecting the rocks to be bigger. Okay logically I know the poor souls who built it were having enough trouble as it was, but seriously, you'd think with all the effort they'd put in, they'd at least use bigger stones!!! But it was okay. It didn't rain and we took some good photos. Got to stay about an hour before it was time to leave and when you think about it, it was kinda cold and other than look at the stones themselves, there's not a heck of a lot to do out there. Apart from wonder what would happen if we decided to make our own crop circle. We then thought the better of it and realised that getting a criminal record wasn't on our list of things to do. So back on the bus we got and headed back to Salisbury. Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic to say I've been to Stonehenge and yeah, you do kind of get all tingly. I just thought it would be bigger that's all. It gets a big work up and all the pictures make it look so grand...I've been to Stonehenge!! Yay!

After sitting and eating lunch in the drizzle (which had follwed us back through the valley past Sting's house) we went into the cathedral. Some two and a half hours later we emerged!! Oh my gosh it was incredible!! I saw some of the most amazing stained glass windows. And the lady who took us on a tour, she was so quaint and cute and British!!! I know, I sound so silly saying that, but even now little things still make me stop and go 'dude you're living in England!!' I get excited easy...She told us about a poisoning story and an 800 year old rat who became the proof that the knight in question was actually poisoned. That was kind of cool.

From the Cathedral we wandered back up through the medievil part of Salisbury and into the haunted gift shop (I know I'm asking for trouble) but no ghosties to tell off. Next stop was a small church off the main street which has the Judgement Day mural painted across the ceiling. I know, morbid, but I sware it was the rain. At that point it had started to rain very heavily. Have I ever told you I don't own an umberella? Well I do now!! Since the weather had taken a turn for the worst, we decided it was good enough reason to go back to the pancake cafe and have a little early evening delight. And man was it delightful! Erin and I ordered a hot chocolate and I personally got a banana and butterscotch pancake. Ohh just the thing on a wet day. We sat upstairs by the window and the fireplace, looking out at the cold day, sipping on our hot chocolates that were in cups bigger than my hands!! But itwas so good! And as I sat there, that crazy little thought came back to my head. I'm in England. Here I was, sitting inside away from the cold and wet in a quiant little cafe in a quaint little medievil town with a great new friend and a lovely warm belly full of pancakes. The day couldn't get any better.

And it was a good day all things considered. I truly had a wonderful time! Tooks loads of photos, and we talked the whole way back home on the train. Saw a fox and everything. Wrote our postcards (for peopleback at Pax Lodge, it's a tradition) and didn't end up with time to pull out the deck of cards. By the time we stopped and got pizza for dinner, yeah healthy I know, but better than McDonalds, it was gone 9:30pm before we got back. I am really enjoying my day trips. Okay I know I've really only done two, but we've plans for many more, indeed we plan to do one each set of days we have off all August!! Aside from one as Erin and Jewel are going up to Edinburgh (as they've three days off) so I've decided I might make the journey back to Tutbury.

Yesterday was back to work but it was my first day out with a session. It rained in the morning as well. So after stopping at the UK GirlGuide HQ for about an hour, and walking past the bell hop at the Rubens Hotel twice (three if you count the one on the way home!!), we went to Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace. Yes, again I got inside the gates!! No camera's at all this time though...and by this stage the sun had come out and we stood there roasting. Kind of like Melbourne really. And the band played music from Phamtom of the Opera which puts a whole new spin on things!! From there it was lunch in St.James park with the pigeons and squirrals (man they were sooo funny!!) then back on the train to the Tower of London. I actually went in this time. But I've decided I want to go back on my day off and do an actualy tour and hear all the stories. That was supposed to happen but we had an issue with a very rude Beefeater and I was tempted to go back and kick him in the shin, just to be mean. He really was horribly rude when there was no need to be. So the group sort of split and we went our own ways. Managed to catch the tail end of a reinactment of the beheading of Mary Queen of Scotts (minus the axe) and went in to see the Crown Jewels...Wow. That's some pretty shiny bling bling!!! Then went into the gift shop to stare at all the lovely things I can't afford!! I mean come on, £30 for a letter opener, that's like $90!!! Indeed it was nice, but still...

Sometime later a very tired session and Pax Lodge Staff (two of us) trotted back to have dinner. But no it didn't end there. Its at this point I became dishwashing Queen!! I tell you I wasn't going to dawdle and let dishes last an hour, no way. I was tired I wanted my room and I had a splitting headache. Half hour later we were already on mopping the floors! Go me!! Marie was very impressed. I think part of it was I wasn't going to let Keren push in like last time and take over. Grrr she really gets under my skin sometimes and drives me mad...Marie said I had my elbows poked out from my sides like I was protecting my turf. I was!! I am not a push over, I refuse to let that girl think she can play head honcho. I wouldn't mind if she did her own job properly, but she doesn't!! Okay, my gripes over.

After dishes was the closing ceremony of the session. I tell you it has been the best one yet. The groups mixed really really well and we were all given gifts and everything. It's the first group that has, I guess, made it more personal. Actaully, the reading I did at the last closing made an appearance again. Jewel asked if she could do the reading, but failed to do anything about it until yesterday afternoon at which point she's wanting to know where mine is so she can read it. I can't really say no. So I heard someone else read it (to different music) and while I know I would have paced it, lowered or spoke louder to emphasise, it wasn't all that bad. Didn't hold as much meaning, but it was okay. Then came evaluation and the prospect of dessert, which I passed on.

Bed, as I was soon to discover, was no where near being close. Admittedly I could have said no, but I was the one who was all for us socialising. Lets just say that Allison moved into her new room so she was having a 'Room Warming Party' which involved a deck of cards and some....um...beverages, sounds so much nicer. Mind you the glasses could have been a bit bigger...I soon realised I wasn't good at the card game. Five little glasses is not a good way to head, especially when they're different types of beverages...so the game changed to 'I have never'...and yeah, I don't really rememer things clearly after that. I mean I can remember things, but it's all a bit hazy. I think there was about six of us with the same issue, only Monique suffered badly!!

The HA's corridoor reaked this morning. The silly girl had so much to drink that she'd thrown up during the night but failed to clean it up....wasn't a great thing. Considering what I consumed, the worst I had was feeling a bit tired when I woke up. That's it. No sign of what I believe is known as a hangover. This is all such new language to me! So yes, Monique was on the recieving end of a lot of jokes today. I guess the bonus is that whatever they did learn about me that they didn't know before, they're not likely to remember!!

I'm hoping to have a few more photos up within the next couple of days, so when that's done I'll stick the link in an e-mail again and you can go have a look see. At this stage my next adventure is out to Oxford. Beyond that I've quit planning, I tend to do too much of that and it's nice not to know what's going on more than a few days in advance. Although I am hoping to miraculously have my days off in October occur at the begining of the month, or at least a day, so I can have a right old chin wag and catch up with my lovely daughter and the rest of the Hoath tribe!! And for those who have no idea, no I've never given birth and no I don't mean tribe as in wild people...well....nah! One of the Guiding families in the district is heading this way and staying here, I better make sure I do my job well!!

Other than that, there's not much more to tell!!! I know these get very long, but I don't know I get talking and I don't shut up. I guess I'm not used to not being able to talk to you all yet. It's funny how having a simple conversation with someone can be taken for granted too easily. *Sighs* that's okay, I think I'll go find Erin.

Hope you are all well and are staying safe and having fun.

For now I'm signing off and I'll catch you all next time I drop in for a chat.
Big hugs and smiles,
Rachael :-)

Well Hello!

Hi There Everyone!

Well what an exhausting four days of work it has been!! Thank goodness I've had two days off, although I have to admit Thursday was another long one, but fun and not really work related. Kind of.

Last Thursday I made mention of the rumour to go to Kareoke. Well that actually became fact when Breanne, Marie and I tottled off to Finchly.The pub itself is on three levels and has a set up similar to The Carron in Spencer Street. To begin with it was rather quiet, maybe 10 people in there, but by the time the comp had began I'd say we'd creeped up to 35. Not the busiest place around, yet served it's purpose. Oh my gosh this one guy got up and he was really, really, really bad. I mean I know I'm not crash hot, though I'd imagine there would be no telling this guy!! I don't do public singing. Normally. But I'd found another pub which serves Snake Bites (Andrea you're an evil woman, I am hooked now) and well, lets just say B52s Loveshack will always be a fond favourite of mine....BUT Breanne entered the actual comp they have going. In a space of two days I learnt she could play the guitar and sing, both brilliantly well. So Marie and I persuade her to enter. And blow and behold, she's through to the Semi's!! And she is really good! So that's on the agenda soon enough, back we'll go and we're trying to get all the HA's to come.

And while I'm on that thought, I'll explain a few things because in the past two days I've had several comments from several people informing me I 'slip into the lingo' and manage to lose people. So I'm going to try explain myself. HA's is short for House Assistants, whichI am one of nine that we currently have. That will drop to six in the winter. There are four main shifts. K1, K2, House and Program. In the last month you are here, you have the chance to do an additional shift known as K3, but if you choose to do that, then it's the only shift you do. It's pretty much all cooking (well assisting) and you tend not to go into the dish washing pit. Oscar is our garbage disposal and Tilly is the industrial diswasher we have. Dixon is the resident dog. When I refer to a Session or Session Participants, these are groups that come here for a specific program. These can run from 8-10 days. Aside from that I don't think I refer to too many other things...if I do, let me know!

Friday night we had the 'Friends Banquet'. Basically, we have a volunteer group who help raise money for Pax Lodge and you can become a member and what not. You are then known as a 'Friend of Pax Lodge'. And every so often they have dinners. Of course if you're a member from another country it's hard to attend...but you get my drift. Thankfully we didn't have to cook or serve. In fact we were invited to attend. But here we are, nine lovely young ladies mixed with about 40 rather, mature aged women. It was rather odd. Then the added bonus was we all had to do the washing up afterwards!! It was eat and run! But see there was wine on the table. So two glasses of wine and then a mad rush to get dishes done is quite an interesting experience, especially when you've got 11 people in the kitchen!! Record time, a huge mountain of dishes unlike I've ever seen was done in 50 minutes. The issue was I was so hyped up that I had a huge amount of energy I had to burn otherwise I wouldn't sleep. So I declared I was going for a walk! Yes at 11pm or later at night in the dark town of Hampstead I wanted to go for a walk...next thing I know, five others are coming with me! So in the end we went up the hill to check out the line for Harry Potter...it was kinda long and there's a photo on my photo page...but the issue was, when I meant I wanted to go for a walk, I meant a fast brisk burn up energy kind of walk. These people just dawdle!!! In the end, I ended up running (yeah I RAN!! Everyone has just passed out) like a block ahead of them, running back and I did this five or six times and the blocks here aren't your conventional block size!! Needless to say I slept really well that night...

Saturday and Sunday were my first two days off work, slightly complicated by my bout of food poisoning. I'll tell you now for those that have never had it -You Don't Want It!! It is horrible! Started about 1am on the Saturday morning and come 7am start time, I was in agony! I sware to you, it was an image worthy of a hangover! I am on the floor of the loo literally doubled over, he he he. While I didn't think so at the time, it's quite amusing really. So my big Saturday night out was actually a little night in. And in essence that wasn't too bad really. Thankfully the first three of my four days were program and since we don't have a session in, it was mainly office duties, although I did get called to do other things which I'll get into later on.

Sunday night (as I was rostered in Program), my evening didn't finish until about 9:15pm. This is because the groups we had in had requested what's known as an evening program. Basically, it's an opional extra when you stay here. We can put together activities with a theme if you wish. Usually it's a Pax Lodge or International Theme. And it goes for about an hour and a half. Generally has an opening, a bit of a rundown on the HA positions, The Pax Lodge Song, followed by a series of activities (as the rostered on HA's help out) and then its Taps and the Friendship squeeze. Of course I've never even been a part of evening program, so I wasn't sure exactly what it was I was supposed to do!! But it did run quite well and it was actually quite enjoyable.

Monday was the day from hell. I tell you, it was a mad house. We were having about 47 guests stay that night, with 30 currently checked in and the remainder to check in during the day. So two big things happened. The first was the water tanks were being drained and cleaned. A process that was supposed to start at 9:30am and be done by 2pm. We'd planned on that. We'd worked around all our loads of washing (and when you have 59 odd beds in a place, each with a fitted sheet, doona cover, two pillow cases plus all the towels you can ever imagine) you'd come to understand there's a constant flow of washing in this place. And ironing, oh my gosh. But back to the water. It eventually went off just before 11am and come back on around 3:30pm. So if you had a call of nature, tough luck! Thankfully all our guests were out for the day, we'd told them upon checking in what was happening and they'd planned around it. Of course we said it'd be done by 2pm, but when they started to wander back around 3pm we were still without water. In that regard it was fine really, they weren't too fussed. The biggest issue were the matresses.

Every five years we get new guest matresses (can I just say the tanks get done every 8 so I managed to score both on the same day!!). As I said before, we have 59 guest beds. Now again this was all fine because we knew it was happening and we'd prepared. You'd think that when the guys rocked up at 9am the day would run smoothly. No. Ha no way in the world. You'd also think it was logical to replace an old matress with a new one as they were removing them, or do them room by room. Wrong again. They decided to take all our matresses (well they could take all but around 20) and come back with the new ones, then take the remainder of the old ones away. So where does the issue lay? Well put it this way, 47 guests that night all had a bed which needed to be made up from scratch, including the matress protectors which were being washed when and where possible (remember the no water part). We ended up with an extra hour for lunch but working an hour later to allow all the help possible to make beds. And the problem? The new matresses didn't rock up until 4pm!!! Even if we went and got the old ones from the drive way, we'd still be 27 short!! We had people checking in and everything!! Marie was freaking out!! Which is understandable!!

What followed was one amazing feet. We got those matresses pointed in the right direction quick smart, making 47 beds in just under an hour!! That was three of us working our asses off!! Or was it four?? It was four. Keep in mind we were needed to take the plastic off and get matress protectors on, plus keep washing going and iron the sheets before they went on!! Argh!!!!!!!!! Needless to say it was a very long day and we were so tired at the dinner table, but still had all the evening work to go!!

Plus Monday night marked my first rosta of Night Duty. Yeah all sounds very impressive ay?!! Basically I'm in charge!! Nah, I have to secure the whole building, doors and windows and all, then I have a phone and the door beeper with me. That's my job for the night. I'm the oncall person if something goes wrong. If the phone rings at some horrible hour of the night, I have to answer it. Which it rang just after 11pm with a 'wrong number' and that was it, that was the only call. The excitement came in the form of a lovers tiff which went on for an hour!! Oh my gosh, who needs daytime soapies!! It was just after I got the wrong number and as I'm at the front of the house with my window open, I kinda heard it coming. Initially I thought it was in the grounds of Pax Lodge, but because the roads here are narrow, lined with tall trees and tallish homes, there's an echo that goes along the street. Now I poke my head out to discover it actually not in the grounds and not on the driveway and no it's not our guests. But as I'm watching it gets even louder and next thing I know the guy has pushed this chick onto the ground!! Keeping into account it's just after11pm, the pubs had just closed and yeah, he'd had a fair bit to drink- indeed they both looked like they had. Now I'm thinking do I keep watching in case he hurts her or what? It goes on and he's 'so sorry babe' and he ends up sitting in the gutter crying. It continues as they go further up the hill, but again because of the echo I can still hear it, it's him running after her.

Well of course twenty minutes later they decide to come back past Pax Lodge, it's not like I haven't heard enough! But it's now a role reversal, he's leading and she's running after him and he's basically telling her to find another boyfriend because she keeps telling him he's too skinny and too pale and yeah, the low esteem list goes on. It was crazy. They've ended up coming past a third time and then just after 12 they seemed to have disapeared, I couldn't even hear them anymore. As I said, who needs daytime soapies!!

Tuesday was a nightmare all over again! Well not really, it was just another long and busy day. Complete and utter change over of guests.Our next session came in. This one is called Footsteps of the Founders and runs for ten days, six of which they're camping down on the coast on a place called Brownsea Island, where in 1907 (or there abouts) the first Scout camp happened lead by Lord Baden-Powell with 22 boys, two of which were his nephews...or there abouts. The other days they're here at Pax Lodge and we are their tour guides as per the norm.

Wednesday was day one of two off. It's really hard to keep track of days here because our working week is 'four days' thus when your two days off come it isn't always Saturday and Sunday!! I can't recall what I did...oh I did washing in the morning and went to Camden in the afternoon where I somehow managed to see the tail end of a street brawl, which was interesting. A change I guess. Not a great one, but you know, it's something.

Thursday marked my first trip out of London! The session headed off to Brownsea Island, just off the coast of Poole. Heather said we can come along too, only issue was we had to be back for work, today, Friday. Which was fine, we caught a coach home late last night. Many adventures and stories to tell from that day and the weather was glorious! You should see me, I'm sunburnt, again!! Erin came with me so we sort of decided 'when in Rome' style that we'd try fish and chips at the seaside. Never again. It was horrible!! Looked at the menu for tonight and it's Cod and Chips! Argh! No no no!! Regardless, we had a great day and I think Erin and I have a lot in common! Which is good. Someone I can relate to in a different way to Monique. For starters we're both control freaks! Though I am a little better than her, I'm not as rigid as I used to be.

The first we heard of the events back in London were via an SMS I got about the 'incidents' on TV. At which point I'm going...what incidents?? Sometime later (note we were on an island in a port which is similar to a nature reserve, we were transfixed by nature!! No technology out there really!) we found Keren who explained to us what had happened, or at least what she'd heard. Over dramatisation is a bad thing, especially when it comes to this. Soon enough we found the happy campers (as we were not working, we were free to wander) and Heather pulled us aside to talk about getting home. I just want to note that poor Heather and Ruth are stuck out there on that island with girls who have a) never camped before and b) assumed the camp was only for two days, not six!! They've had some big issues with a couple of girls in this group, big issues.

So we went back across the bay to Poole, had our dinner and find the coach terminal at which point the driver tells us he's not even sure if he can get us into London. Well that was it really, we started to freak out because we still didn't know exactly what had happened and everyone was telling us different things. The events of the day sparked a rather long and deep and thoughtful conversation between the pair of us. And it was lovely! Like to sit down and have an intelligent conversation. Be frank if we must. Be a little scared and nervous. But it was fantastic and we actually looked at the staff here at Pax Lodge as a whole and worked out what it is we all have in common, it's incredible! Sometime later at about 10:30pm we got back into London. Now the story goes the minor explosions on Tubes and again one on a bus. The thing I want to stress is that the bombs didn't go off as planned, apparently they malfunctioned. So we're like, it's two weeks to the day since the last one. Again it's a Thursday, again it's the second day of a session, again it's three train stops and a bus. Again it effected the Northern Line. We've both marked the calendar two weeks from now and if we're off, we're not going any where, just to be on the safe side...all those little details are just a little too freaky.

Anyways, we still couldn't get the Tube home and buses had only just started running again. Most parts of Tottenham Court Road and Leister Square we still blocked off. So the bus had to detour several times. We eventually got home at around 11:30 and were up talking till just after 1 am. Then I couldn't sleep. But what else is new right??!! Botton line is I wasn't actually in London at the time. So I'm fine and NO I am NOT coming home!!! I don't care if these morons do end up blowing me up, at least you guys will know I died doing what I wanted to do!! Okay, that's probably not a great line all things considered. But you get my drift. I chose to come here. I knew London in some regards was a target city. I'm not going to let this ruin my time. And dare I say it, it almost feels like you can get used to this happening. Last time it was a huge shock, okay and yes this time it is still a bit scary, but you know, I guess I'm more prepared for it this time.

Today was a big important day!!! Yay!! Remember a while back I mentioned that Sheree Blair (Mrs Prime Minister) was coming to Pax Lodge for an interview? Well, we were kinda told she was coming but you know, had to keep a distance. Well that changed! Janet tells us last night (at like 11:45 when we found our way up to her flat to reassure her we were fine) that six of us had to be in full National Uniform for like a photo shoot and stuff for the BBC promos!! Oh my gosh!!! So inevitably I met the woman and I was in photos with her AND they're going to get copies of the prints, she's going to sign them and they're going to be sent to us here at Pax Lodge! How cool! But here's the stunner. Typical Rachael Moment coming!! We're standing in line shaking hands with 'Mrs Blair' and all I can imagine is that Mr Bean episode where he meets the Queen, bows and knocks her out!!! Hehe he. Anyhows, she's going down the line and shaking hands and hearing everyone's name and we were told it was all on a tight schedual so we couldn't talk or ask questions or what not because she's a busy woman. So she gets to me. Shake hands do the 'Rachael from Austalia' thing to which she replies 'Oh I was with Mrs Howard this morning' and me, in all my dorky stupidity, as if I know Mrs Howard personally, goes 'Oh yes and how is she doing?'. It was one of those moments where you can hear yourself saying something stupid, but you can't stop it in time!! And yeah she was telling me about their meeting female youth sexual assult cases dealt with through Benado's or something similar. And I'm standing there going 'oh yes' as if I'm an expert on that!! Like hello! Dork alert! I felt so dumb!! The whole saga lasted about 15 minutes really. So we waved her off and that was it.

She was nice I guess, but I tell you, the photographer was mighty fine!! He had the most lovely eyes and smile...awww mate. Mind you I don't even remember his name!! Dork alert again!! The other thing was we had locksmiths floating around the building who had seen us ealier in the day in our Pax Lodge polo shirts and pants. And of course, one of the guys was standing at the bottom of the stairs as I came down in my official aussie get up and he's cone 'Flippin Heck, what a bloody difference!' ...yeah I'm not so sure if that was a compliment or not!!

Other than that, it's been mostly uneventful. Same old story, washing, vaccuming, dishes...same old same old. Had a staff member leave today and a new one starting next week. A couple of birthdays, no new theatre shows to talk about and Lost is premiering this week, only by the time it gets up to where I left Oz, it'll be time for me to come home!! So really I'll gain nothing. Never mind, not here to watch the box anyway.

Well that just about does it for me once again, hope I haven't eaten too much into your lunchtimes or whever you choose to read this. Hope you are all doing well and staying safe.

Take care and until next time,
Rachael :-)

Yet another chapter in the Adventures of Rachael

Hello Everyone!!

How are you all going? Actually I'm quite impressed, I don't jump in my inbox for a couple of days and suddenly every man and his dog (for the boys in Tassie you've got cows right?!) wants to send me an e-mail! Not that I am at all complaining, I love it, you're all so entertaining in vastly different ways!

And so life in London. Where to begin? Okay, well the events of last Thursday Morning sent a wave of panic through London, and all with good reason. With 52 people dead and hundreds others injured, plus all those who are still missing, its kind of understandable that everyone is on edge. Actually something really errie is going to Tube Stations and just walking along the street and seeing missing signs for those who have yet to be found. It kind of give me these horrible goosebumps. It's not all that nice. The Tube System itself is almost back to normal. Still have a heap of delays and some stations which aren't taking trains on some lines, but it's up and running again. The only noticable difference is that suddenly everyone gives everyone a second glance. You can see people eyeing you off, espeically if you have a bag. It's sort of sad to think that we feel we need to do that.

One staff member here still won't get on the Tube and we had one of the session participants have several panic attacks because she too didn't want to get the Tube. It's plastered everywhere here. Marie was at the Walk About the other night and there was a bag along one of the walls and they had the police come and everyone was evacuated. It's been happening at a lot of places. What makes it worse is that the people responsible are actually British and this has further lead to concerns that there are more people like them in Leeds. Since they were suicide bombers I guess it's almost like a cult thing, there'd be a lot of people with similar beliefs.

In general the whole thing kind of hit staff here at different times. I guess it all depends on when we gave it the time to actually sink in. And as for me, well, the main thing is that I'm still here kicking and rattling off millions of lines in every e-mail I send your way!! Nah, in all seriousness it hit me later that night when I was alone in my room, it was suddenly like terrorism was a very real thing, it wasn't on the other side of the world anymore, it wasn't in another country, it was right here and I was kinda close by!! About a mile away from one blast I believe...I don't quite know how far a mile is though...opps.

So addmittedly Friday I kinda hid in my room, did a bit of cleaning and didn't really go anywhere. Friday night I had an argument with myself and told myself to get my act together and make the most of my time off. It worked from what I can tell! I'm agreeing with myself and seem to be always smiling. And to use the words of Te'Andra Tuesday night, 'I was Pimping It'....yeah I imagine you've all just had the same raction I did. It's okay, I haven't found another way to get an income. I'll explain later.

Saturday saw me head out with the sole aim to buy a new pair of runners. And I was happy to do with the usual KMart or Big W kinda shoes.I didn't want to spend a mint on shoes, I'm not really in a position to be doing that! Following Janet's advice I went to a place called LilyWhites in Picadilly Circus. Yes I got the Tube and yes, I'll admit to holding my breath for most of the journey! So I go into Lily Whites and come out smiling. They had a sale, yay! And you know what? I actually now own a pair of brand shoes. I don't do brands (which for most of you is quite obvious) but I now own a pair of Sketchers. I am excited! I know I know, small things...but I got a great deal and they are sooo comfy and my feet are just loving them. The bonus was I converted to aussie dollars and went...yeah that's more than I'd usually spend, but then I realised the money in my wallet was my pay. It was NEVER aussie dollars, was never going to be aussie dollars thus it didn't need to be converted! No second thoughts just went 'yeah I'll have those!'. The store itself is quite amazing. Five floors of sporting goods. It really didn't look that big from the outside!!

From there I went to Covent Garden and stopped in at the Aussie shop, then did a stop for lunch. An hour later I had a nice full belly and was ready for a kip, but walked down to Embankment, got on the Tube (yeah again!!) and got off at Tottenham Court Road and proceeded to walk the ENTIRE length of Oxford Street, on both sides!! It took me like an hour and a half!! And most of the stuff in the windows I couldn't have as it was out of my price range!! But been there, and seen it. Went into HMV (big mistake) and like have another five floors of everything music related! Oh my gosh, and they were having a sale too!! Thankfully I didn't have my card on me!! So I only brought one thing, a Bon Jovi CD. Sounds good too. And so to compensate for the lack of spending and shopping in Oxford Street, I told myself I'd go to Camden. And I did and you know what? I didn't spend a cent!! But oh my gosh. Last time I went was a Monday, it's so quiet compared to Saturday!! I couldn't believe it. Plus I found my pair of Doc Martins with the Union Jack all over them!! Actually I found two types, so when I've saved enough as so not to leave myself short, I am down there and buying them!! Yeah!!

Quite sometime later I wandered back into Pax Lodge just in time for dinner. I was rather tired and quite sunburnt! But I'm browner so I'm doing good :-) I actually can't remember what I did on Saturday night...oh yes I do, I went for a big walk in the Heath (it's okay, it wasn't too dark, I'm not that stoooopid). And pretty much went to bed after that. Yeah I know, real exciting.

Sunday marked my 21st birthday. Firstly, thank you for the cards that were sent, slowly slowly they're arriving in the mail box and now each day I have a different person come and tell me I have mail. Maria (PR) tells me I'm the popular one. I told her it's only because it was my birthday, otherwise most contact from 'home' would be via e-mail! Anyhows, it was a quiet day in most regards. Started work at 7am (oh so happy birthday to me...) and finished around 11:30am. During the clean up after breakfast, Jung Hwa told me to come outside and out the front of Pax lodge they have a floral banner which hangs there everyday. Anyhows, Sunday it was replaced by a birthday banner which was kinda nice. At lunch I got a cake (which Breanne made) and a present, despite me being so darn difficult during the week when they were asking what I wanted. Turns out I scored a neat few things, including some stuff from the Body Shop in my fav fragrance!! How much of a good pick was that?!! After lunch I went with Breanne and Sally to Camden (yes again!!) and I love Sunday's even more than Saturdays! Only the punks were kind of getting a bit violent. See I've been told that when it comes to the rather 'characteristic' people of Camden, when people take photos of them they ask for a pound. Anyway, we were walking across the bridge over the Canal and some people in front of us were taking photos (no money was exchanged) and next thing we know there is abuse and bottles being thrown over the road at the people in front of us!!

Wandered around there for a while and found a brilliant 99p shop where everything is 99p or less! So as you can imagine, it was kind of like Llandudno, Wales all over again!! Were gone for about two hours at which point I had to head back to start the second part of my shift at4:30pm and work till 9pm. At dinner, some of the guests must have asked whose birthday it was because they've gotten up to do the grace and Te'Andra was like 'oh and we're gonna sing happy birthday to Rachael' and so I've then got 50 odd Girl Scouts plus the staff of Pax Lodge Singing Happy Birthday to me in the dining room which was kinda nice. Worked till 9pm and then Allison, Keren, Monique and I went down the road to the Garden Gate and had a drink. Yep, just the one. Dodgy place really, if you don't like beer (which I don't really) then you pretty much have to have soft drink. So Allison shouted me a pint and we sat there talking until they closed at 11pm (it's going to take a while to get used to that!!). And that pretty much was my birthday in a nutshell. Simple, but nice.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were all working days and we've been working flat out because these session participants -everything that could go wrong did! My gosh! I mean it wasn't serious stuff, but from what I'm hearing they've been the most difficult group yet. But it was good because usually when we've all knocked off we go for a drink or crepes or ice cream...anyhows, they all left today, well we still have one troop here leaving in the next hour or so, but its change over day so all the rooms and beds have to be cleaned because we've got a full house again by tomorrow morning!! A full change over. Somehow I managed to get today and tomorrow off, yay!! I mean it's only four days of work, but it often feels like four weeks. And yet in some twisted kind of way it's really enjoyable. Some of the guests really are quite nice and a lot of the adults of this session would stick around after dinner (a huge task!!) and help clean up the dining room which was fantiastic.

Monday night I was hoping to get to the London Eye as the troop from Minesota offered to get tickets for the HAs for their night journey. Of course me being on K2 shift didn't finish till 9pm and they had a9:30pm trip. I wasn't going to make it which was a shame, but by the end of the night I was wiped anyway. Allison went and she said it was amazing. The sky was brilliant and it was right on dusk. I told Monique and Breanne we'd go and do our own trip!! Speaking of trips, Monique and I are going to try get our days off in September rosterted together because we were talking to a lady from the World Bureau next door and she has a holiday house on the Isle of White and she's offered it to us if we want to go down there for our two days off! Free Accomodation!! Score!! It can't be till September, but we don't care!! So I guess in that sense, that's my first trip out of London kinda, sorta planned! I mean I'll leave London before then, but it's a start! And she was telling us some of the things down there to see, so I'm looking forward to that.

Last night was the closing ceremony of the session. So I made it through my first full session and I think being there for the duration makes the world of difference. To see the girls at the start of the week (okay it was a bad start) literally stick to their own troops, but to see them last night all mixed, it was amazing. We really didn't think they'd gel like they did. Yours truly was given the task for doing the closing thought. I had a maximum of five minutes if I wanted to use it. I took two and a half minutes and decided rather than use a reading from their folder, I was going to write one myself. Haven't done that in a very, very long time. Two and a half minutes later with an instrumental piece from Moby playing softly in the background, I had people in tears!!! It was so nice!! They were like it was beautiful and how amazing it was and how talented I am (yeah the head was kinda getting mighty big!) but in all honesty, just seeing I'd moved them was enough without the thanks and praise. As odd as it sounds, it was nice to be able to write again. So now that's my job for each closing, or so I am told...

The highlight of the week by far this week will most definately have been Tuesday night, I went to the Theatre again, this time seeing 'We Will Rock You' which was fantastically bloody brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh it was so incredible and coming home I was so full of energy and I found it so hard to get to sleep!! And even better was that some of the girls, all around 15, were HUGE Queen fan's and it was just soooo odd!! I mean people look at me when I say I'm a Queen fan and I'm 21 (I can now say that!) but these guys are even younger than me! Regardless, I was sitting with them and we were singing our lungs out and in the finale everyone was up and dancing and singing and it was just so amazing! Arghhh it's probably a good thing I left my card at Pax Lodge, otherwise I would have brought everything in the shop!! He he he. And so back to the pimping story...apparently Te'Andra had said that Sally and I were pimping it. Thus we went and asked two of the adults just what exactly was meant by that term, understandably we were a little concerned. But it's all harmless, apparently pimping when used in that context can descibe having a good time, letting your hair down, in our case singing our lungs out and dancing around. So there you have it, I went to the Theatre where I was pimping it big time!! I sware I doubt I'll ever get the American Slang that goes around this place with these session people!

Today being my first of two days off has been rather restful. I am in a heatwave here, I had hoped I'd put the humidity behind me when I left Singapore -no way!! It is soooo hot here! So I spent the morning just cleaning and tidying and pretty much relaxing. Hung around to take part in the two minutes of silence at noon -yes it's been a week since the terrorist attack. It was so odd, because it was a National tribute sort of thing and usually there are sirens and traffic and all sorts but it was almost like London really went silent. Even all the buses stopped for two minutes. We did the silence, then Heather read the World Song, which when read has an entirely different meaning then when it's sang, I guess that's because you listen more to the words...I don't know. From there I stopped at Angel Tube, caught a bus to the Bank of England, walked past Liverpool station to Bishopsgate (just because I could) got on a number 8 bus (just because I could) which saw me go as far as Bethnal Green where I got off and got the bus back the way I came, I think seeing the Police cars with Riot cages on them was enough to unease me!!! From there I got off at Totten Court Road, got the equivalent of a cheeseburger (minus the cheese) from Maccers, then jumped on the Tube to come back and here I am. Very tired admittedly. And I'm yet to clear the black stuff out of my nose...not that you needed to know that!!

As the days go by I'm getting to know all of the staff here at Pax Lodge a little better and we have many, many different characters here. And it's quite amusing, because every meal time when we sit down together and eat, somehow we end up on the topics of accents and different words used in different countries. And we're all pretty open about having difficulties about understanding some of the people here. But it's not nasty and we all have a really good laugh about it! It's kind of nice really, we all just settle into this really comfortable conversation and it amuses us for ages! Like the other night, last night actually, we went to get crepes (well Ruth and I got ice cream, far too hot for crepes) and somehow we ended up sitting on some steps and I'm sitting between Ruth from Ireland and Monique who is from South Africa and I'm translating in both directions because neither of them can understand each other! It's sooo funny!

I'm slowly discovering more about Hampstead too. I've now come to understand that it's more than just what I thought was the main street between here and Belsize Park. There are actually three main streets and they all go in different directions!!! Its incredible. And Hampstead alone has three Starbucks!! Its crazy! Plus a HUGE heath which has a giant table and chair in it, and I mean GIANT, like the height of a house. Why? Well beats me, but why not?!!

Tonight there are rumours about going to a kareoke bar...no I am not singing. I don't do singing in public unless it's at the Dominion theatre during We Will Rock You.....but it'll be fun. Apparently its just down the road from the Walk About in Finchly. Allison and Monique were going to go out clubbing on Saturday night and they were going to drag me along 'because clubbing in London is an experience all of it's own'...but Allison now starts at 7am Sunday and has decided we can go another time. Phew, I get out of it for now!!

Other than that, I'm just about all typed and talked out!! Hope everyone is going well back home and enjoying the lovely weather back there! Trust me, right now I'd love some good old Melbourne weather!!

So until next time, take care and stay safe,
Rachael :-)

No Subject

Hi There,

The Voice of British Telecom!! You know a lot of people would love to give you a piece of their mind...he he he BT, that's funny!!

Well I start work in about 25 minutes again. *Sighs* I actually feel quite tired right now. I figure if I do a really good sweet aussie face to Erin she'll cover the last 15 minutes of my shift, or at least here's hoping. If I don't get to go to The London Eye Tonight, there's plenty of other chances to go. So there's no disapointment. And NO that doesn't mean I'm not going to try and get off early, it simply means that if I can, great, if not, well I've five months ahead of me!!

Was doing a bit of thinking before about my first trip out of London. Where to? Well I'm not entirely sure!! I do want to see a little of Germany at some point. I'm not phased if I don't make it to Italy orFrance. I'm happy to try Switzerland and indeed I'll eventually do Wales and Ireland and Scotland. One of the things we do with the sessions is go to Paris for the day, so next session I'll see if I can try get on that. Even just places within England. I know I'm heading up to York in October to see Sarah and she's gonna give me the grand tour of the place. I'm wanting to go back to Tutbury...you know I should be writing all this down! Actually I really should be trying to see and find out prices for flights and all...hmmm..

And just for the record, you can talk as much bullshit as you like!! I honestly don't mind, I'm used to it :-) Seriously, it's nice to hear what you've been up to, even if you think it is bullshit!! It makes me laugh. It may seem mundane stuff to you, nothing out of the ordinary, but for me, that's you guys all over. Know what I mean? Its nice to, in some sense, momentarily get caught up in all of that! Like I've said previously, it's kinda odd here. No one really has a sense of humour and there are times where no one really fits in. And there are times where you just get sick of everyone. Like now, I'm so tired of one person telling me how to do something, then someone else comes along and tells me something different!! Its so frustrating!! I feel likeI've gone from being in control, knowing everything that's going on and teaching others, to basically going back to grade 1 and having to be taught everything and being treated like a child. I mean for goodness sakes, I'm 21 (I can say that now!) you don't need to speak down to me!!! Ermm....okay I've had my gripe...moving on. Actually you want to know something funny, I went to type gripe, but it came out as grope...he he he, ohh dear. Its going to be one of those nights I think.

Argh look at this, it wasn't supposed to get long!! Darn it....yack yack yack....anyhows, I must be off, I've now only 20 minutes and I've still got others to reply to!

Cheerio,
Me :-)

'Hello You've reached British Telecom, your call is important to us, please hold and we'll put you through to our first available consultant...' he he he he he he...ohhhhhhhhh dear.....

Oh and I'm thinking of getting another tatt assuming I can find as omewhat credible place. And I might actually go blonde....

This is a Good E-mail, I promise

Greetings my friend,

What a rollercoaster this week has been. But by the time this e-mail is through, I think I would have done myself proud, and in some regards, you as well. I thought about having this conversation on the phone with you at some stage, but I don't think it much matters if it's done here via e-mail or in person on the phone. The important thing for you to know is that I have verbally said what will follow, and for a change I think I actually believe it.

Monday seems so long ago. The significant thing to recall on that day was you laying down the 'no contact rule' until I leanred to like myself. I spent Tuesday feeling like I was being punished. Wednesday too. More so because I woke up Wednesday morning with a touch of the homesick blues. I was starting to miss little things, the small things people would say or do. I was getting tired. I told Erin I didn't want to play the House Assistant game anymore. The novalty had worn off and I was worn out and I just wanted out.

Thursday things got worse.

Admittedly the lowness I was feeling was only heightened by the events of Thursday morning. Suddenly terrorism was a very real thing. I know that sounds kind of odd, but when it comes to September 11 and the Bali Bombings and the Madrid Suicide Bombs the fact of the matter was they all happened on the other side of the world. In other countries, not my own. Suddenly I found I was right in the middle of it all and quite oddly it made me remember something I used to joke about. I'm not sure if I ever said it to you or not, but I think initially it was a thought which made me want to leave a Will at home in case the inevitable happened (I just want to add here that the Will was on my To Do list but never got done). I was in the States just four weeks before September 11. I was in London a mere two weeks before the plans to gas the London Underground surfaced some three years back. I used to joke that the next time I went overseas I was at ground zero. I was losing two weeks with each trip. From four to two to none. And as that thought again raised it's head Thursday afternoon as I sat watching the horrific images on the television, I realised I should never have made that a laughing matter.

I was supposed to be trying to 'like myself' but instead I found myself full of self loathing. I think in total I got about an hour and a half of sleep in Thursday night so thank goodness Friday was my day off. It was gone 3:30 in the morning when I'd received the second phone call from home frantically finding out if I was okay. For my grandmothers part (on my dads side) she's not incredibly great with'english and time difference thus she had no comprehension of the hour of the morning it was here. I know, she was worried and I'm not angry at her for calling. I was just very sleep deprived. I had spent most of the later part of the night crying. Having to keep up appearances and reassure a house full of American's that everything was going to be fine can be very draining. And of course it had given none of us time to deal with the events in our own way. We'd delt with calls all night from worried families in America, indeed many from our own home towns. My mother was frantic. As was Fiona from work and I even had a voice message from my 'father' which was all a bit overwhelming. So as you can well imagine I was falling to pieces. The one person I thought would make things better and the one person I so despirately wanted to hear down the phone was the one person I wasn't allowed to talk to!!(and by no means is that said to make you feel bad). So I went up to my room that night and bawled my eyes out. I felt so insecure and scared and lonely, infact quite unlike that 'strong' person people seem to see me as.

As I was saying it was after 3:30 before sleep even attempted to show it's head. I was woken at 4:45 by my phone again. This time it was my cardiologist who actually wasn't aware I was in England and thus wasn't aware of the time because I never got the chance to see him before I left (I know, I've just opened up another avenue for a lecture, I know I know). Regardless, that was about a seven minute call at which point I think I fell asleep again only to be woken at 6am by some very loud American who decided to go outside at that mad hour of the morning. So the quest for sleep was given up on at that point.

Friday I withdrew right into myself. I had black rings under my eyes, the worst I had ever had. I did some more crying on Friday morning. I told myself I wanted to go home, I wanted right out of here. I just wanted to be safe. I just wanted everything I knew to be familiar around me. Erin was worried. Monique was worried. I barely ate Thursday night, didn't go down at all for breakfast nor morning tea on Friday, but threw in an appearance at lunch where I ate about three fork fulls of egg quece or whatever it was. Janet asked if I was okay, I told her I was a little tired but fine. I know she didn't believe me, it was written all over her face. I spent the afternoon in my room. I didn't sleep. I didn't do much other than stare at the wall. Over the course of the day I at least cleaned my room. Erin asked whyI was doing it so thoughrally so soon. I guess I was trying to keep some sort of order, some sort of control in my life.

Dinner Friday night was half a piece of fish and some corn. Yes, I ate fish. I figured it was something at least. By this stage the others had given up trying to get conversation out of me. Indeed I was being quite difficult when it came to getting me something for my birthday. I mean, more so than usual! As far as I was concerned, I didn't want a birthday. I just wanted the day to pass like every other.

Then about 8:45pm Friday night I decided I had to get out of my room for my own good. I went for a walk. And I lectured myself unlike anything you'd believe I was capable of. Well, maybe. But forty five minutes later I was a different person. I refocussed. While out walking I asked myself three questions. Why did I want to do this in the first place? What did I want to achieve while I was here? What did I want to do when I got back home? I tell you I've never walked up that hill quicker, and I didn't stop to catch my breath!! That sheer determination got me up the hill. I told myself I was being stupid. I was wasting valuable 'stories' time by locking myself away and wallowing. Yes, I am allowed the need to get scared, and feel homesick. But hiding isn't going to do anything to help. That said it was gone 1am before I decided to take a restavit and try to sleep.

Because of this I nearly missed breakfast this morning. Today was Saturday and my last day off until Thursday. Okay, that's only four days away, but it seems like forever. So I got up, showered, just made breakfast and went out and didn't get home until 4pm. Admittedly I was a bit scared of getting on the underground, indeed I was uneasy the whole day. But I didn't let it stop me. First I went to Picadilly Circus and got me some new runners. I own a pair of Sketches. That's like breaking history for me. I don't do brands. But my gosh they are so comfy. So they were £22 and when I converted that it's about $66, far more than what I've ever spent on runners. But then I realised the money in my wallet was my pay. It was pounds. It was never aussie dollars, so I didn't need to convert. I walked out proud as punch, that was my one aim for the day sorted.

So then I wandered around a bit and was wowed by the buildings. I then went up to Covent Garden, looked around there and went to the Australian shop (there are just some things back home they can't replicate). From here I went to Pizza Hut (the one Sarah and I went to last week) as I figured I'd not eaten a lot and I was gonna get a good feed for a good price. An hour later I emerged. Jumped on a train and got off at Tottenham Court Road and walked the ENTIRE length of Oxford Street (both sides) and drooled at all the things I could never affordto buy. So then I thought I'd compensate and go to Camden Town to the Markets and I've found my Doc Martins with the union Jacks all over them. Actually there are two types. So now I know where to get them, I can do a bit of saving and they are soooooo gonna be mine. Watched a canal boat go through a loch. Did all sorts of things. Got on the bus back to Hampstead, stopped at Starbucks, then walked up the hill (a different one) back to Pax Lodge. And here comes the part I'm proud of, and indeed you will too.

The thing with my journal is that I'm writing in it mid afternoon on my breaks, so generally I go over the night before, and then do that days events. In this case it was a recap of last night (friday night, the 'walking lecture' and what I got up to today). I wrote down those three questions I demanded of myself and then came up with the answers. Admittedly considering I had until Thursday to like myself, which I then stupidly extended to Friday, Saturday afternoon to finally come to that point is a good effort all things considered.

The first question was, why did I want to do this in the first place? And I thought about this because for some time there I wasn't sure why. Initally I wanted change. I didn't want to sit at my desk for the rest of my working life. That was before I was moved and before my long hours. I wanted change. I wanted to go and do something different, I wanted to do something for me (and this is where it gets good). I wanted something which I could go and do for myself, I earned the right to go and do this, I deserved the right to go and do this. Next thing I know, I've scawled across the page in capital letters I DESERVE THIS!!! he he he. And next thing I know I am laughing. Because I've suddenly realised I've worked my ass off for so long now, and gotten so little in return (not that I expect to). I have spent too long concerned about my responsibilities to other people. To Work. To guides. To some degree my Mother. Stuff that. Right now this is all about me. And I had this same arguement with myself New Years Weekend. THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME, AND FOR ME! So blow and behold before I even realise what I am doing, I'm staring at myself in the mirror going 'You understand what I'm saying, you deserve to be doing this. You should be out there having fun and doing everything you possibly can. Being depressed is shit and you should cut it out. You can't change anything that has happened. Yes, you can feel scared and yes you can feel homesick, but for goodness sakes woman don't dwell!!'. So then I laughed again. And I felt so stupid, but then I laughed and said, 'you're not that bad you know' and laughed again and then found myself in hysterics because I'm standing there looking at my reflection going 'even when she's damned well not here or on the phone, when I'm not allowed contact, she can still bloody make me think and still always manages to be right!!'. And I did. I stood there and laughed. It was really quite hilarious.

Before I knew it I was back at the pages and scrawling again. I answered my other two demands and did it with a new found energy. I came here aiming to achieve fitness and to a lesser degree I wanted to give up smoking. And for a week now I've been smoke free. Yes, I've had quite strong urges. But I want to proove to Marie (and to myself) that I can do this. I'm walking every night, I've already cut time off the route I do. I got up that hill without stopping. Yes, these are only small steps, but in small steps I'm achieving what I wanted to. When I get back I want to do two things. I want to get into the Police Academy and that sheer will alone was what got me up that darn hill. I kept saying 'Victoria Police Here I come' over and over and over again. I don't know how long that'll last, but it's serving its purpose for the moment! The other thing I want to achieve for the moment remains my own aim and the knowledge of no one else. Things may change between now and then, circumstances may change. But right at this point in time I know what I want. Now we just wait and see what happens. Trust me, you'll be the first to know when I've achieved it. That is unless I tell you before I get back...or you guess. Which you're kinda good at.

So here it is, this incredible e-mail ending with this burst of energy. I know what I want. I like myself, I think in someways I've always liked myself, I just forget sometimes. I know I am a good person. Thursday night I looked at everyone around me (photos) and I saw how important they were to me. We're not just talking about a select few. I mean I had people call me and sms me that I never thought would. People I work with. People I see once in a blue moon. There is something about me that they like, that they respect and it's enough for them to care. And I understand that. I've had people tell me I can inspire them. I've had people tell me I motivate them. I've had people tell me that I am a good person, that I'm an incredible person. I just sometimes don't listen, that's all. I become so consumed by everything 'I have to do' that I stop doing the things I want to do. To a degree at least.

Thus I leave this e-mail hopefully assuring you that despite the horribly dark low in fell into, I am fast on the way up again, in fact I'm going in leaps and bounds. I know you won't get this till you're at work and it'll probably take you forever to read. But it doesn't matter. If you call tomorrow, that's great. If you don't, then I'll speak to you at some stage during the week. And to get all mushy for a moment, yes, I do feel your absense quite heavily. Yet I know that you've your life back home and for the moment I have mine here. I know I have to let go of things for a while. Yes it's hard. But I can do it and I know I shouldn't feel bad about it either (we're now talking about things in general!).

So until next time my friend, stay safe and take care. It's time to hold on because this ride has only just begun!!

Huge hugs but even huger smiles,

Me :-)

Hey There

Heya,

As mere humans we are just creature sof habit...plus I remember when I was going to Canberra and we were SMSing and you told me you'd just stopped for Maccers...it's really not a good habit.

Did I tell you I've stopped smoking. In an hour it'll be a week exactly that I had my last. And I'm doing good!

I'm sorry the message went through at 4;30am. We had huge network problems here so I was getting messages from home about four hours after they were sent and then I'd have them come through every hour after that. So I'd get the same message like five times. If it makes you feel any better, my phone was going all night too.

Yes. The events of Thursday Morning will be forever burned in my brain. Suddenly, terrorism became a very real thing. It suddenly wasn't happening on the other side of the world to me. I was here and close to it. Walking distance in fact. Indeed that combined with my homesickness provided for a very dark time. I was a complete and utter mess. I had held up a positive mask for the guests, but late that night when I was in the privacy of my own room, I cried for hours on end. The distance to home seemed so much further. I wanted out. I am dead serious. If it hadn't of been for the fact it was the middle of the night and I didn't want to wake people in the corridor by making frantic phone calls, I would have called my travel agent and changed my flight. I am dead serious. I was terrified. I was scared. I was lonely. I wanted home. Consequently between my own troubling mind, the numerous calls and SMS I got throughout the night, it was gone 3:30am before the thought of sleep entered my mind. I was woken again at 4;45by a phone call from my cardiologist who actually wasn't aware I was in London as I hadn't had the chance to see him before I left, and that was another seven minutes of conversation I had to endure. I
think after that I dozed off again, but was woken at 6am by some very rowdy guests. After that I gave up on sleep. Friday I didn't eat, infact I ate very little on Thursday too. I crawled into myself. I didn't talk to anyone. I was causing quite a lot of concern, but wasn't aware of it. It's not been until late this afternoon (it's Saturday night) when I finally shook myself out of this. I kind of lectured myself, asking myself why I initially did this, what I wanted to achieve while I was here and what I wanted to achieve when I go back. And somehow I re-focused and here I am.

I knew the emotions would be tough, but not so intense so early on. Mind you, I hadn't anticipated a terrorist attack either. Well it had crossed my mind, but it was always that 'it'll never happen to me' kind of mindset.

That said, I am okay. I'm about to go to bed. I have to start at 7am tomorrow morning and am working till 9pm. I get a break during the day so that's okay. It'll be a long one. So happy birthday to me, ay?! I should at least be allowed to sleep in, right?!

Hope you are well and I look forward to hearing from you. And for future reference, if you have to have Maccers, can you at least try the healthy stuff, as abnormal as that seems?!!! I mean come on, you go to Maccers to have bad food, healthy food has no right to be there! What am I saying, I'm supposed to be convincing you healthy is good! it is, it is!! He he he.

I tell you what, my last e-mail I said I really needed a laugh...multiply that by about 1000 and you've got where I'm at!! No, I am better than I have been. It's been bumpy, but at the end of the day, life goes on.

Take care my friend, and look after yourself. Not long now!!

Much love,
Rachael

Just so you guys know

Hi there Everyone.

Well what a hairy day it has been. For those of you who haven't read the paper or listened to the radio or seen the TV or heard about it any other way, we had a terrorist hit in London this morning. And yeah, it's a little scary. Actually I'll admit it, it's a lot scary.

But the bottom line is I am okay. I worked today so I was safely here at Pax Lodge but tomorrow is a day off and I planned to get out early...now though I think I might stay here and clean my room.... We had a session start yesterday, thus the 50 odd Americans we have here at the moment all headed out for out trips with some of our staff just after 8:30, all of which had to use the Tube System. Thankfully, we're all okay, some of the girls are quite shaken up about it. Under the circumstances, that's understandable. The phone's have been ringing non stop. The one concern we do have at the moment is for a father and daughter who have been staying here the past few days and left just after 8am to get the Tube out to Heathrow. Currently we don't know if they made their flight or not, but I'm sure they are okay.

Pretty much at the moment they're saying there were three Tube explosions and one on a bus. My mobile had been going haywire for the past five or six hours with sms from home but the mobile networks here are jammed at the moment so I'm unable to contact anyone! Well I called mum and a couple others, but I can't call everyone!! So I just wanted to let you know I am okay. As I said earlier, a little shaken, but okay.

Old Street and Kings Cross are both on the Northern line, indeed Kings Cross is just down the road from here. We've had sirens going literally all morning. The entire Tube System was shut down as were all the bus services so currently there is no public transport system operating in London. Everyone is being told not to go anywhere and there is like live coverage on one of the channels. So the TV is constantly streaming all this stuff and some of the images are pretty horrible. Even people who were on the Tube or in the stations talking about body parts and what not just being everywhere. They were talking to one guy and he had me in tears, he was actually on the next carriage to one of the trains that went off at Edgeware Road and he was talking about smoke and people panicing and breaking windows to get oxygen and people preying. It must have been so horrific.

But I have dwelled too much on this already and right now I just want to put it at the back of my mind (I know that's harsh, but it's not a nice feeling to be in amongst it all). It's been bad enough battling a touch of homesickness as it is, this isn't helping! Have been on the go since about 8am this morning, I was supposed to have four hours off this arvo, but come 1:30 were were still trying to sort everything out and then I've just kinda been floating to make sure everyone is okay and now when I am done here, I'll float for another half hour then work until 9pm tonight. Yay!! In the office mind you, I'm scared I'm going to get lots of calls.

Basically been flat out working the past couple of days, had some thinglike 17 rooms to clean yesterday and 51 beds to make, all this was done by 12;30 and we started at 7am! Primarily it was Erin and I, but at about 10:30 we had Ruth and Jung-Hwa (who had been vacuuming) come and help us make beds. Phew! It took three attempts over about a span of two hours to go to bed last night! We ended up (after being side tracked for the second time) going for a walk down to Hagan Das(spelling?) to get Ice cream and ended up sitting in there talking about different customs and marriage and age gaps and the number of wives and all sorts about all our various different countries. The ice cream was fantastic too!

Tomorrow and Saturday sees me on my two days off. Monique and I were going to go and see Chicago on Saturday night and stop for a drink on the way home (hey its a good weekend this weekend!) but she has to work and won't finish until 7:30-8pm and the show would have already started. Sunday night sees Monique and I out for Snakebites at theWalk About and Tuesday night I somehow scored an outing with Program (in the evening) and thus get to go and see We Will Rock You!!!! I sooooo cannot wait!! But yes, not too sure what I am going to do with my two days off, it'll depend on just how much of the transport system wants to be up and running. I suppose I could pack a picnic and go for a wander around the Heath and have some nice lunch in the non existent sunshine. It has been overcast and drizzling since last night (yes we walked in the drizzle to get ice-cream...).

All that said my main aim was to make contact and let you all know that for the most part I am fine. Other than the small burns I have on my hands (and tender points and bruises) I'm good! My hands (and feet!) just aren't used to all this work! Not when there is steam and water and iron presses involved!! That said, all is going fine. I have a bit of a routine happening which was one of the things I wanted to get laid down very early on in the piece.

Personal Notes:

Julie: I need your address! I know the street name, but can't remember what number or postcode! Okay okay, so I wasn't as organised as I thought I was....

Kathy: My posters arrived today, THANK YOU! They're even laminated. I am so spoiled. And thank you for the badges, they'll come in quite handy! Thank you Thank you Thank you

Ruth: When do you fly back to the UK?? Ayes Rock would have been simply Amazing!!

Andrea & Crasher: Guys...I opened my envelope thingie last night...oh my gosh!! Thank you soooo much!! I loved it all! I just need to figure out how to turn the sound off on the little Keno game, I mean if it's annoying me, it surely will be annoying everyone else! And 'the photo'...I can remember the day we did that!! Its one freaky photo and a good theory! I saw it and just burst out laughing!!

That just about does it for another chapter at this end!

Hope this finds you all well and safe, take care and until next time,

Rachael :-)

Re: Happy Monday/Tuesday Everyone!

Hey!!

We have another Victorian here at the moment, one of the assistant state commissioners...Sally I believe is her name. Said she knows you...but yes, she walked into the dining room wearing the International rugby top and I was like 'another Australian!!'.

So I'm entering my third week away and it'll be a tough one. Doing proper work now and it'll be my first full four days doing so. Plus we've a session of 54 American's coming in tomorrow...give me strength. Plus everyone told me it'd be about the three week mark when I get the home blues and to a degree they're right. Plus Sunday marks the big 21 and no family around for the first time ever. Taking a deep breath now, thank goodness for that rescue remedy!!

Hope all is well and I'm very much thinking about going to the Theatre again on Saturday night. Not sure what I'll see though. At this point in time its a toss up between We Will Rock You (although Allison said I should wait and see if I can get to the show with the session like Idid with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) or Billy Elliot or Chicargo...there's a couple others floating round, one in particular which has just started and is an Andrew Lloyd Webber in the rather nicer parts of London and I have an incling it'd be a tad out of my price range right now. But give me a couple of weeks earning pounds and we'll get there!!

On that note I've not long finished another long day with more still to come after dinner, but I at least have two hours to myself now. I'm going to get off my feet!

Take care,

Me :-)

Hi There!

Heya!

Have been trying to sit down and write individual e-mails to people and now I've finally gotten around to you!! So, how you doing?!!! Hopefully everything is running as smoothly as possible at work right now, I know it'd be a downright nightmare...but for your sake I hope it's running like clockwork.

Now you need to let me know what's been going on in Blue Heelers!! Oh my gosh, I have your tape still!! Or did I tell you that already? Gosh I don't know, it's all a bit too much right now. I think I worked it out I've been gone from Oz two weeks now, so I'm entering the third, the week everyone tells me I'm going to suffer the home blues. Despite having a bit of those already, people are right. Sunday is my 21st and it'll be the first birthday where I haven't had family and friends around. It'll be the tester. Monique and I might be going to the Theatre on Saturday night (as it'll be Sunday in Oz) and hopefully we'll end up seeing Chicargo (Andrea's influence!) or Billy Elliot.

That said, I am having a blast, even if my feet are in dire need of a foot spa!! It's a lot of hard physical work. Ultimately the long days don't bother me, it's just that it's a lot more physical than I am used to. You wait, I'm gonna get back and be a new person! Oh and I've given up smoking. Had my last ciggie at 11:30pm on Saturday night, it's now 4:15pm on Tuesday arvo and I'm doing good! And I haven't been despirate enough to resort to the patches I have, mind you I was in the surpermarket last night and looked longingly at the tobacco shelf...but Marie who is here has tried to quit like four times in the seven months she's been here. She keeps telling me it's okay to weaken. Questioned me when I went for a walk last night (yes a brisk one, trying to get a bit of additional exercise happening too!!) and I told her to get lost. She didn't know me, had no right to question me nor my will power. So I'm even more determined to do this now, just to show her...we do get along really well, I just want to emphasise that!!

You ought to see me, I'm like brown!! It's so freaky! And most of the time I've got a smile on my face and no bags under my eyes...I'm doing good. In all honesty I actually feel quite good too. Yes I have bad moments, but I anticipated them. Mostly though, I've a new energy I haven't had in a long time.

Enough about me. I sound so self centred. Tell me all about you and what I'm missing back home!! Actually you know what I do miss, the lovely view out the window!! Having it as a photo is just not the same. Actually you know what I do miss? Those moments when we laughed so hard we'd cry!! No body does that here, most of the girls seem to be somewhat serious. I could do with a really big laugh...

Okay on that note I must keep moving.

Hope you're doing okay over there and I hope to god you're not reading this at like 7pm at night! And don't you dare stop for McDonalds on the way home!! He he he, just kidding, you can eat what you like. But don't work too late. Or if you do, you need to play that Elvis song really loud for me....'In the Ghetto'.....he he he.

Catch ya, take care and stay safe, shout out a G'Day to everyone for me,

Rachael :-)

P.S Do you want me to send a pigeon over to you, they're very pigeon unfriendly round here...

Happy Monday/Tuesday Everyone!

Hello Hello!

Hmmm...I said that with too much excitement, I'm rather tired at the moment!! And since I write this on Monday afternoon it kinda makes it almost, if not, Tuesday by the time you read this. Actually could be later...not that it matters!

To begin with I just want to say thanks for all your e-mails!! I will get around to reading them after I've done this, so then maybe I can get back to some of you individually. I know sometimes one bulk e-mail is a bit less personal...so I'll try!!

So today we've had the one and only Sir Paul McCartney next door, using our car park! We're all pretty excited about that. We need those small kinda things to keep the energy levels up, I knew this was going to be hard work but no where near as painful! Nah it's not that bad. I'm pretty used to long days when you take the past month or so into account, but those days I spent a large part of them sitting at a desk. Here I'm on my feet, literally all day and it's killing me. I will say though, by the time I'm done here I'll have the best leg muscles! Up and down stairs all day long! Goodness me!

I had Sarah (most of you know her as host sister Sarah from when I was last here attending UNITY) come and stay on Friday night because she was flying out from Heathrow to Nairobi and then going to Zanzibar for three months on like a teaching program...volunteer work too! Anyhows, it was great catching up with her! And Heather was like 'you have a guest all ready?' because I'd only been here like a week and a bit...so I turned around and told her not to get too excited, I don't plan on having any other guests!! That is of course unless you guys wanna come visit!!

Saturday was pretty mad here in London. What with all the commotion surrounding Live 8 plus the Gay Pride Festival (which we walked into the middle of I guess rehearsals!), it was a busy city!! Janet was the only one who managed to score tickets, the rest of us (both working and otherwise) had to see or hear it all via live broadcast on the radio and/or the TV.

Saturday also marked my introduction (and induction!) to The WalkAbout, a string of Aussie kinda pubs here. We walked to the one in Finchley as it's the closest. Here I was hoping to catch the Melbourne Storm Game ( I'd rather Essendon, but that's on later tonight and I'll have my night duties to do so I won't see it) but due to live 8 running quite a bit over and due to me going to the wrong Walk About I didn't end up seeing the game BUT I had a brilliant time regardless. It took a while to get half okay, then as the night went on it actually became a lot like Bridie O'Reilies on a Friday night...they even had a band lined up but they started later due to the live coverage of Live 8. In the end they just left the visual on and had the band play. All accept for one point, which even now still amazes me. Robbie Williams came on stage and that was it, they cut the band off and let the live audio stream out. Now at this point in time the place was very packed. There were views of the some 200, 000 people at Hyde Park and everyone was singing to Robbie -Even in the pub, it was incredible. At the top of everyone's lungs everyone sang, word for word!! It was rather good!

The band were okay, played a lot of Aussie music which I think was the point of the whole thing. Yes I had Snake Bites and Marie has a card that gets us Bacardi Breezers for like £1.50 each which was really good too...price wise. There is no need to mention the number of'beverages' I had that night. But put it this way, I left the others for dead, even those who weren't working on Sunday stopped at two drinks! Which was quite surprising really. Marie said she usually drinks more but has had her money cut off from her parents back home in Canada, apparently she's got money issues in the sense she can't stop spending it!! It was kind of also a farewell to Caro who flew back to Germany this morning.

It's funny how I'm in a totally different city, half way around the world, but still Sunday is cleaning and washing day!! So yes, in that regard yesterday was kind of dull. But it was alright because I had to practice my presentation for my welcome ceremony which was last night. And it was Monique's too. The both of us had our welcome ceremony which started at 9pm and kind of ended at 11, then we had Caro's farewell ceremony! In presenting us with our Pax Lodge pins and a special blanket plus a few other things, Janet mentioned some thingabout being welcomed to the Pax Lodge family. It sounded kinda weird I guess. But when Caro's farewell started and as I watched the reaction of everyone else...it started to make sense. In essence, we house assistants (8 in summer, 6 in winter) plus the senior staff, are abunch of women who in most instances would probably never meet. But for some crazy and unknown reason, we all took a leap and chose to live and work together. And as I looked at everyone, I guess there was about 14 of us, I realised that we are 14 in in say 6 billion people in the world who will share this experience and adventure, right here and now. Then I realised I'm going to need a jumbo box of tissues come December!!!

Today was back to work, my first day working the 'House' rota. I cleaned rooms from top to bottom, made beds, did LOADS and LOADS of washing plus ironed for what seemed like FOREVER! No wait, I forgot the vacuuming of the entire first floor (minus the dining room as it's lino and the kitchen as its tiles) from about 7:15am this morning!! Actually what I do like is that I get up half hour before I start, shower, dress and that's it!! No getting up an hour before I leave to include breakfast, not a half hour drive or 40 minute commute!! It'slovely! But yes, today seemed quite long. That said, I prefer it over Friday's dishes and food, at least I get to float around the entire building!!

Actually you know what I'm craving right now? Well actually I'm craving several things right now...but I could really do with a Caramel Macciato (or however it's spelt!) from Starbucks...Mmmmm...Starbucks...Actually what I really want is a Lamington with lots of strawberry jam...yeah..actually there's probably other things I want more than that, but you get my drift.

Now I'm just talking rubbish. I'm quite tired. Just over an hour and a half till dinner and that time is all for me, then it's back to work till about 8pm and then that's it for the day. Yay!
Oh and a correction, I think at some stage I said that I was 14 hours behind you guys, man I don't know what I was thinking that day! It's actually only 9 hours. So in the event you want to call...that's a bit more of an accurate time frame!!

Righty-o I think I've dribbled on too much for another day, I will catch you all again soon at some point!

Take care and Stay safe,

Rachael :-)

Can You Hear My Mind Ticking?

Hi....

Okay well I know this is going to prove your point exactly but I am beyond caring!! Actually what made me come down to the basement to do this is because I had Delta Goodrem on and the second song on her current album is called 'The Analyst' and I had a bit of a chuckle, that song is so me!! I know I analyse a lot, indeed I over analyse. I'm aware of that. And yeah, I probably do it because I do want to make it sit right, make it easier to forget or accept. On the same token, I've never done anything differently. Its not something I consciously do, it's just a natural thing.

Analysing is on my list of things to change or alter or get rid of while I am here. Also on that list is that rigid and dull and responsible and boring part of me, that little voice that analyses before anything has actually happened. I need to learn to be a little more carefree I guess is probably the best way to put it.

In regards to 'holding every ones hand' I just want to emphasise the fact that I don't intend to do that. Perhaps six months ago I would have. At some point there I reached an understanding that yeah, there is sweet FA I can do about anything that goes on while I am gone. For a time there I felt so helpless to everyone if I couldn't solve their problems. Now though I know and I can say it and mean it, it's okay to not doing anything. Its okay not to help. Its okay to not hold peoples hands.

I did alot of thinking New Years Eve weekend. Something along the lines of learning to live for me. At that time I couldn't see I was living for everyone else. I couldn't see that if everyone up and leaves, I'd suddenly be left with no life, not if I kept living for everyone else, if I kept being that net or catcher. And eventually I recognised that. I'm well aware that holding hands is something I can do so wonderfully well, but it's something I shouldn't do 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year. Again, this is something that will take time to change.

Being so far out of the comfort zone, so far out of routine and familiarity for so long is going to give me the opportunity to sit back and go 'right you can be a totally different person when you travel, so why can't you be that person at home?'. Last night was a classic example. I had far more to drink than I would back home. How do I know this? Many reasons. But I was singing at the top of my lungs and being probably a typical Aussie tourist, loud and often the centre of attention. It was great fun! I'll say it, I loved it. Now I just have to work out why I can't do that at home, to the degree that it was last night.

Can you kind of see what I am getting at? I am aware of all these things I shouldn't really do and I intend to do something about it. Its just going to take time. And this is the perfect opportunity to do that. If I get used to living a 'louder/carefree' way for such a long period of time, the likely hood is it'll become second nature and it'll stick around when I get home. Or at least that's the aim. I knowI know, analysing again! I tend to want to ration everything, be rational about everything....grrr...

I know dwelling and holding on too much issomething I can't afford to do right now. I'm about to have the biggest six months of my life. Most of my focus needs to be here in this country, in this moment in time. I can't be carrying baggage from home. That said, I'm not saying I don't want to hear people's problems (be that you or anyone else) all I'm saying is that I have to file them away elsewhere. Get them out of the inbox and put them in the filing cabinet under the desk. I'm getting really off track here....

Before I left, at the airport, you poked me just under the collar bone and told me I was walking away from nothing and that everyone will still be there when I get back. And do you know why I'll remember that? Because the poking really hurt!!! Moving on....in most regards I didn't mean walking away in a physical sense. I know everyone will still be there when I get home. But a lot is going to change and indeed I'll change a hell of a lot too. When I said walking away, I meant turning my back on life as it was for me in every regard at that point in time. Not everything will stay the same and I expect that. So in that regard, I'm walking away from that chapter of my life. When I come back, I'll look at things in a different perspective, a different light. How I relate to people will change. Someone once said that the only constant thing is change. And that's exactly right.

All analysing aside, bring everything back to base level and I know what I have and the people I have around me. They're there. That's it, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter in which context, but they're there and that's the important thing.

Yeah this got a bit long and you're probably sitting there going 'This is such a Rachael thing to do, can't help but explain herself' ... to be honest, it's probably some form of subconscious justification!!

The important thing is that I am honestly loving every moment. By knowing prominent dates of things going on back home is just my link, my foot in the door. So I still feel a part of things. I promise you, I will make the most of every opportunity I have. I mean hey, I've stopped smoking right?!! Went out and had far too much to drink!! Getting around and seeing London, both solo and with other people. As of tomorrow I'm going to start an exercise routine. Everything else is a bonus and believe me, I've had many, many bonuses already.

And now that I've over analysed too much...I'll leave you to it! Take care and big hugs (in a non worrying, non analytical, non hand holding way....)

Me :-)

For what it's worth and whatever you see fit to apply it to -it'll all be okay. What's to be, will be. I could probably chuck a dozen more cliches in there, but I won't!!