Perhaps the last Chapter in the Adventures of Rachael for 2005

Hello All,

Just me again :-)

Come on did you seriously think I'd not send another e-mail between the last one and Christmas? Admittedly my presence has been a little absent of late, but I am trying to make an effort here! So I fully moved into my room. Have been there about a week now I think, I'm not sure. If time is usually a little blurred, it's very much so at the moment. Pax Lodge can be eerily quiet at times. My room. Well it had a room warming party last Wednesday (7th) which by most standards was quite different to what we are used to here! My lovely HA compadre's while noticing my struggle to adapt to change, nicely went and brought two bottles of wine (Aussie at that!) and joined me for Lost, accompanied by crackers and cheese! Check that! Usually its shot glasses and mixed spirits...opps...This is a Girl Guide Centre...regardless, I'd moved up in the world I think, I don't know! I'd just like to note that Wednesday just gone (14th) I had them all back again for Lost, more Aussie wine and Pringles and chips and Candy Corn. Plus some German liquor which was rather interesting...just note though guys, most of the drinking was done by the others, not me!!

Saturday the 10th marked the welcome ceremonies for our newest additions where we learn about them, they learn about us and we generally make them feel, well, welcomed. Not that we hadn't all ready. I think the most interesting piece of information to surface that night wasn't about either of our two new HAs, rather the trivial piece of information about our World Centre Manager, Doreen, who told us she once had a Poodle called Flipper because her parents wouldn't buy her a dolphin...and to be honest, it doesn't at all surprise me!!

Christmas has been very well on the agenda too. A Guitar recital followed by Christmas cakes and tea on the 7th, our Volunteers Christmas Party on the 14th (which yours truly had a hand in organising) plus a Christmas Carol do on the 15th at Guide HQ here in London. Well we got a view of the Queen's back garden!! It was so big!! We explored what's known as the ICANDO Centre which is activity based and we had a ball!! While everyone is downstairs eating mulled wine and mine pies, we're up there re-living our childhood, not that we left it all that long ago...

I also spent two and a half days down at Goring-By-Sea again which was really nice and relaxing. Janet has been off on sick leave since November due to having surgery. Because of this she wasn't able to fly home to Canada and spend Christmas with her family. Back in September when she found out, I made a random joke about us coming down and singing Christmas Carols at her window. Well silly Janet didn't think too much more of it. Monique was supposed to come down with me, but in the end it turned out just to be me. Janet's flat mate Liz knew I was coming and knew what was planned. So picture me in the cold, finally getting to their block of flats, standing at their front door singing the Aussie version of Jingle Bells through their letter flap in the door. God forbid any of the neighbours came out to find out what the horrible noise was!! Well Janet was over the moon, had no idea and didn't realise I'd actually go through with such a random joke!! She'll know better for next time!! I also got to play post person with a huge stack of cards and gifts from current and past staff. So my couple of days down there were really nice.

A Pax Lodge tradition is that the ground floor has all it's doors decorated. We get to pull the name of a door out of a hat and we (with limits) get to do what we like with it. I somehow scored the Men's Toilets!! Typical!! Anyhows, Rebecca from new Zealand won the decorating competition with her sheep and Santa standing on the fence. Only issue was most people thought he was peeing on the fence...I'll send a photo of my door at some stage, nothing overly arty or spectacular, but I liked it!!

Other than that, life still goes on at Pax Lodge. We shut down on December 23rd and re-open on the 4th of January. In that time I think there are about four staff members here and that's it! Everyone else seems to be going away!! Including myself, although my plans have now changed and are really part of the reason why I am e-mailing you all. As things stood, I was supposed to spend Christmas on the Canal in Gnosall with The Witts Family who hosted me a couple of years back. I was very much looking forward to a) a white Christmas or just b) a Christmas very different to what I am used to!! Now by some crazy twist of fate and a quite amazing Christmas Miracle, Christmas won't see me in the UK, indeed not even in Europe. And no, before you all get excited, I'm not coming home to Oz!! The postman delivered some airline tickets with my name on them this morning, Christmas and New Years will be quite different to what I had planned! Saturday December 24th at 6:40am (Argh!) sees me depart London and fly to France where I wait for two hours before flying on to Cincinnati. Yep you read right, this little Girl Guide will be spending close to two weeks in the United States of America!! Goodness me!! Indeed all very last minute (obviously) and all very exciting. I'm spending Christmas with Erin and her family in their hometown of Richmond, Kentucky. I'll return to the UK on Friday January 6th 2006 to start work the following day. I am really, really, really excited!! So I know a few of you wanted to call...save you're money because I won't be here!

So that said, I don't believe I'll have another chance between now and then to e-mail you all as a group. So this time for sure, I do wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. If you want to send Christmas Greetings or still want to get a hold of me by phone, my mobile will be on and I'll be contactable that way. Just keep in mind that if you call me, I have to pay for it too!! Enjoy a safe festive season and if not before hand, I will speak to you all in the New Year!

Stay safe and be happy, signing out for one last group time in 2005, (raising a glass) here's to a fab New Year for all!!

Rachael :-)

Your Favourite Wandering Aussie...

Rachael's Own E-card . . . DIY Style!

Hi Guys!!

Just a really quite note. Christmas has come to Pax Lodge, we've now got Christmas Lights and freaky snowmen, plus the offical REAL Christmas Tree was picked out this afternoon, hence everyone kinda stopped work and decorated it. The Christmas Carols are wearing thin already!!

I've been posting cards each day, some may not arrive until after Christmas, especailly the bunch that will get posted tomorrow. Thus, I've got a photo taken about two hours ago and put a nice Christmas Message on there and is a form of my own E-Greeting card! Didn't cost me a cent! Hope you guys can open it.

Hope you are all well and enjoy a safe and happy Festive Season.

Take Care and until next time,

Rachael :-)

Hiya

Hi,

How am I doing? Well it depends on the time of the day!! Evenings are the worst, as are mornings when I wake up. Other than that it's all under control. I think. I dont know. I still have moments where I well up. I don't say this to sound horrible and in no way is this meant in a horrible way towards you. But life without Erin is a lot harder than life without Ruth. I guess we had that extra two months at the end and I dunno, it's just really hard to adjust.

The new room is okay but will always be Ruth's room. I hate the bed, I want my big HA bed back and it was lower to the floor. I had my room warming party last night, I had Erin M, Priyanka and Eri come, then Erin S came when she got back from the Theatre. Kristina was no where to be seen and Rebecca was out on Program with the Short Break ladies. We watched Lost, drank wine and ate cheese...it was nice I guess. Still, this place isn't home any more, all the people that made it home have now gone. I am seriously questioning if I want to stay another 10 months.

It was great talking to you the other night. Why? Because for the first time in two months you sounded like things were starting to settle and turn out sorta kinda how you wanted them too. You sound a lot more positive. You are starting to sound like you again and it's fantastic. I felt really good after getting off the phone, I was happy things were starting to work out for you again. And I seriously would have loved to come to Pack Holiday. If you have another in the New Year and want an extra body, please let me know. Enjoy every moment, I know you will.

Sunday afternoon is the Brownie Christmas Carols we got invited to. Monique is coming with me but we were going down to see Janet afterwards, she's now not coming. I guess that's okay. I probably need three days to myself away from Pax to try sort myself out. Other than that I am looking forward to Christmas in Stafford with my host family from a few years back. Again Monique was going to come, but isn't now.

Remember, if you win the lotto, come visit or something!! I mean you can come visit even if you don't win the lotto...any visitors would be nice. And an International Day next year, look out Ruth will be back in the building!! Just out of curiousity, when did you start as Program Assistant and how long did it go for??

While it is nice to know that two people care, the fact that one is in Ireland and one is in America doesn't much help the fact I'd like them to be here with me! And I promise, I will get to Ireland to see you!!

For now I have to get back to work.
Take care and we shall talk soon.

Rachael :-)

Just Quickly

Heya,

So I am entering Day 3 without Erin Gow at Pax Lodge. All things considered I am going well. Okay, maybe not that great, but I am getting there. I feel more than anything now, my time as a HA has long been forgotten as Monique and Erin were the last of 'my group' and yeah, the gap has become very prominent. But hey, I expected that would happen. As I said to Erin last night on the phone, I never thought I would feel lonely at Pax Lodge and yet that's exactly what has happened.

They had an International Day yesterday, had a visit by the police during lunch who decided to raid someone's car and do a search for drugs or something. Apparently they'd been following the guy and he stupidly pulled up out the front of Pax right at lunchtime as all the little brownies were in the dining room eating lunch. Apparently Heather and Sally got up quite discreetly and closed the blinds.

The two new HAs have settled in well, their training is in full swing, indeed I am training both House and K2 today thus I am e-mailing you at an hour I am usually still in bed. I haven't had a 7am start in quite some time! But yeah, welcome ceremonies on the 10th. There is a little life back in the HA corridoor again which is nice, but already new traditions have started, the quote board is no longer that, it's used for short stories. There is talk this group want to go to the Walk About most Saturday nights. It's very strange. I almost find I don't want to be here. But then I know I am just really out of sorts at the moment.

Was off yesterday and off again tomorrow, started to move rooms yesterday and will finish tomorrow. Yep, I'm taking over your old room and it is really really weird. I mean on one hand I have to get out of the HA corridoor and my room, there are far too memories there, but on the same token, I don't want to leave and as far as I am concerned, my new room will always be Ruth's room. Yep, I'm not taking things all that well.

I am going to Stafford for Christmas which will be nice. Because of lack of chance to get tickets for Hogmanay I'm now staying in London for New Years Eve. It's gonna suck really. I need to go and find something to do. And soon if I want to go somewhere descent.

Hope things are still getting better for you, and yes, I do know you are there when ever I need you.

Take care and I beeter go check on new Erin, goodness me she's such a goofy person. Sweet Jesus.

Rachael :-)

Words from the Aussie in UK

Hi Everyone!

The sad part is that I can't remember the last time I e-mailed everyone...I would like to say start of November but I can't be too sure of that. Oh gosh that's dreadful. I'm sorry guys. As crazy as it's going to sound, there are times where the Pax Lodge bubble consumes you and you're left with no concept of place or time. Wait, if I recall correctly I don't think I'd started in the office when I last wrote, so that rules out start of November...I think.

Okay, so the catch up. I remember telling you all about the Queen right?? I saw her in the flesh..yeah I do because I can remember thinking everyone is going to think I am crazy. Not that most of you didn't think that already. Right, November. Or end of October. We celebrated Halloween over the space of about four days which was pretty cool considering I've not really celebrated it before. It's that North American influence coming through...You know I love you guys!!! But yes, Halloween. Ruth from Ireland came back for that weekend which was really good and it was nice to see her again. Consequently we ended up with a corridor full of candy and I mean full, we still have some sitting there now...but did the whole bobbing for apples thing, what can only be described as pin the face on the Jack-o-lantern and lots of eating. The last night of Halloween found us all in the Guest kitchen carving "Bob" who in the end sat on the steps of Pax Lodge for many days and by the time he went to Pumpkin Heaven, had pretty much disintegrated into himself. Wasn't a pretty sight.

Start of November hmmm...Erin's family came which was kinda cool, in fact I recall taking a photo of her mum posting a letter in a red post box and getting somewhat excited. I smile fondly at this because I think I did something very similar three years ago with a post box in Buckingham Palace Road...so I could relate. The 4th found me start day 1 in the office and remember why cleaning rooms was so much more appealing than sitting in four walls. I mean at least back home on the 14th floor I had a brilliant view. Here its a small office with a white wall. I want my finance desk back!!! But in all seriousness, I made it through. It has more slow days than busy ones and considering the time of year it is I'm not at all surprised. It'll take a while to get into the swing of things. Still, I cannot help but question why I decided to stay an extra 11 months...and the adjustment from being a house assistant to not being one has been a lot more difficult than I'd anticipated. Right this very day I feel like I've fallen into the gap more than ever, but more about that later.

The 5th was Guy Faulks night. It was lame. Full stop, end of story. So much for seeing fireworks and so much for seeing bonfires. Dumbass. Okay, just a little bitter over that one. Remind me that from now on I make my own directions and make my own way somewhere. Put it this way, I was on a bus for far longer than I should have been and not my fault. Moving on. We assume that one of our cooks Jennifer has resigned. In true Pax Lodge form, lack of communication finds us assuming things because we don't get told. What else is new?

A little worry crept across my mind when Australia was put on terrorist alert. That's a bit scary really. And then when they listed the people they'd arrested and I saw the suburbs they came from, well most of them are near me! That's scary! But then come to think of it, its not at all surprising. It was around then that e-mails and letters in the post arrived about enquiries I'd made to study abroad. A few of you had quite a mixed response to that! But hey relax, it's a long way off. Even now I don't know if I want to study per say. Actually today I don't know about anything I want or feel or do...it's just not a great day in general.

The 10th & 11th saw my return to the Isle of Wight, this time with Erin Gow in tow. It was very lovely indeed! Actually saw a few things this time, Osbourne House (holiday home of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert) was very nice indeed and quite different to other Royal homes I've seen. By comparison it was rather homely and lived in as opposed to being like a museum. Day two saw us attempt to take a stroll to Bembridge to see the windmill but after walking for an hour and a half along the coast, we were only as far as St. Helen's and decided if we were going to make our coach home, we had to turn back. Actually at one point one of the coves reminded me of a scene in a Minette Walters Book I read a few years ago. Half expected to find a body washed up on the shore -very atmospheric!!

Some smaller sessions came in this month, namely Trefoil Special Ladies which means most of them are 50, 60, 70 + in age. Okay one was like close to 90...but a lovely bunch of ladies and made a nice change from rowdy teens. We at one point had a nice family dinner. One night it was no guests in house at all and it was very weird!! So Janet had us order in Pizza and it was just the family of staff!! It was great. Later that night about five of us did a lap of the house (all three floors) in our PJs!! Under normal circumstances, PJs are not to be worn outside of staff quarters. It was actually quite liberating!! It was also a movie night...so a big night for staff!! Seriously, such a small luxury most people take for granted. It was the first time in say four and a half months I felt like I didn't have to worry about what a guest might see or hear. It was brilliant!!

TV wise I started to watch Bleak House, yep, the Charles Dickens mini series. Its stars Gillian Anderson which in essense was why I started to watch it. Still have lingering effects from huge X-files obsession...but it's a great show and I'm enjoying it. Should be finishing in the next couple of weeks. I also got back into Lost. The UK have finally reached the point where I left in Oz!! It took long enough!!

I also found out that in February next year there will be THREE aussies here! Yay! Two House Assistants plus me! I can't believe it! Go the Southern Hemisphere!!

Days out included many little adventures: strolling in Hyde Park to see the Albert Memorial, visits to the Science Museum, Natural History Museum and a trip to Covent Garden which resulted in me now owning a puppet. He's very cute. He is a Fox called Cadbury who is from Durham who lived with his mother and four sisters in the same den and consequently became vegetarian and friends with squirrels. Was picked on at Fox High School because of his name and changed it to Hugo...yeah, I know, I get carried away. Still, I quite like him.

I had to go buy a pair of gloves! Gosh, to be wearing a jacket in November is so wrong not to mention gloves and a scarf! I don't even do that in July at home, not really! Not to this degree! The doctor down the road got to meet most of the staff of Pax Lodge in the space of a week, it seemed like everyone was dropping like flies. Not me, but pretty much everyone else! Janet went into hospital for her Op thus now I'm finding myself doing a somewhat HAC job. The house assistants are now referred to as being mine and I've had to train the new ones and all sorts. It's nice to be out of the office even if I was only doing my new job about two weeks!!

The 21st was an...interesting night. Yep, everyone just roll over in shock horror, I went and saw the latest Harry Potter movie in Leicester Square. I crumbled. No in all seriousness, it wasn't that bad. I keep to my strict claims to not be a Harry Potter fan on principal -but I am more open to giving the books a go. It was very weird. When you convert what I paid for the ticket I seriously questioned my state of mind...no, it was okay.

We had a woman come and stay who had applied for the Centre Manager Position as Doreen's term is up in December. Put it this way, we all hope someone else gets the posting...nothing personal against her, but yeah, most of us went 'Oh no...'. We've probably just too used to Doreen...that's going to be another weird experience, the staff change over in the next couple of months. Good grief.

Two new HAs arrived around the 25th, Erin from Canada (yes we had 3 Erin's) and Kristina from Germany. Both are really nice people and seem to have settled in okay. We needed a fresh set of blood in this place, the energy levels kind of become stagnant after a while.

Several days off at the end of the month found me visiting Camden on several occasions, Charles Dickens House in a seriously freaky weather storm, crepes on several occasions and Ice Skating at the Tower Of London which was really really cool! They've never done it there before, so it was in the moat and yeah, I ended up falling twice. The first time on my butt, the second forwards on my knees but slid and spun and ended up facing everyone as I spun, flung my arms in the air and went 'Ta-da!' to which I received laughter and applause! Wasn't great for the knees and I had two layers of clothing on plus jacket gloves and scarf. So totally wrong!!! We also celebrated Thanksgiving, ate pumpkin pie and made hand turkeys. I also went and saw the most incredible puppet show! Aww man it was brilliant! The way they made those puppets move was purely incredible!! Like I was so amazed it wasn't funny, I loved it so much, we even scored a tour back stage and the workshop where the puppets were made because I wanted to play paparazzi and take photos and yeah, the guy offered us a tour!

The end of November was kinda bad emotionally and has flowed over into December. The last of the summer HAs have left. Monique and Erin both left this place on the 1st of December. It was weird for me because had things stayed as planned, I would have left here on the 2nd, being somewhere between London and Edinbough. All ready I feel really lost and not sure of my place in the scheme of things. And as much as I never thought it could happen, I actually feel kinda lonely now. I know it's going to take time to adjust. And add to that I am half way out of moving out of my room...well you can understand the emotional turmoil I'm going through. My room holds a lot of memories for me...oh crap, the radio has just started playing a really sad song...Daniel Bellingfield or whatever his name is...I hate the radio. But yeah, lots is changing and Christmas is just around the corner and yeah...

Christmas came to London in mid November. Streets started to have official light turning on ceremonies. I would walk down Regent Street or Trafalgar Square, or along the Thames and feel almost like a magic was in the air. Like sitting there and watching Bridget Jones and seeing how Christmas is in that. Crazy as it sounds, I feel like a kid reliving Christmas all over again, there really is a magic. People rugged up against the cold. All I need is the snow to fall...

Okay now I'm just getting nostalgic if that is at all possible. I know this one got long, but as usual I can't help myself. This is only base detail too! Can you imagine what the length would be like if I went into great detail?!! Gosh! Hope you are all doing okay and survive the summer heatwave. As much as I'm not a summer person now, even just a little sunshine would be nice. Oh god, now Michael Buble has just come on with his 'Home' song...that's it I am turning the radio off!!!

For now I must be off. Take care everyone and if I don't get a chance to say so between now and then, please have a Very Merry Christmas, A Happy New Years (don't drink too much) and most of all stay safe.

Miss you guys in vastly varied ways and degrees!!

Rachael :-)

Can Help Myself

Heya,

So like it's nearly 3pm and I feel very restless. I just instinctively went up to my room at 11am this morning, walked in and went 'oh' and dejectedly came back down to Janet's desk. Old habits die hard right? Hope this find you okay, I actually wrote you a letter last night so no point telling you anything that's in there. It went in the post this morning.

It's funny you know, we go through the motions of people doing their 'lasts' of everything. Went to bed last night in a cold room. Woke with no one to go and say good morning to. Watched the flag go up the pole and sat at breakfast in silence. We don't usually comprehend doing the 'firsts' of everything without someone around. Yet that's exactly what has ended up happening. 'My first flag without Erin' etc. Made me pretty sad. Actually still does.

Janet called earlier and spent close to 40 minutes on the phone to her. Yep, she got me bawling my eyes out too. Doreen nearly did this arvo too, was in her office for a 'meeting' which was a little scary. Thought you'd be interested to know she's giving thought to intergrating K3 into the normal HA rota. The girls have evening program tonight.

Yep the 3rd of December will find me begin to move. Alex moved out today and I'm free to move upstairs. It's probably a good thing. Already I feel the absence of both you and Monqiue. After flag I stood waiting as we mostly do, but the HA's sorta bunched together and walked past me. I feel that now, I am most definately sitting in the gap. But hey, I knew it was coming so I shouldn't be all that surprised right?

Bleak House last night just wasn't the same. Eton didn't say a word and I ate all the Minter Wonderland. Then Priyanka came in during the Queens Cavalry show and made me burst into tears. After tonights show I'll let you know what's been happening. Tis exciting with just last night's episode! So when I got the wanders around 9:30 at some point I crossed Rebecca's path and yep, we opened the hair dye! Erin S did the dying, Rebecca took the photos. It's okay, relax. It didn't quite work. Other than making my hair a little lighter and with a less red tinge on certain angles, I still look relatively the same.

Have been very productive today, can't get over how much work I've gotten done. Remembered to do things I should have done yesterday or what not. Mind you it took most of the morning to get some sort of focus happening. Ruth e-mailed and said she wouldn't call until I was ready. But she's there if I need her. The others were talking at the lunch table today and something came up and your name was mentioned in passing. "...Erin Gow..." and no one really flinched. Like you've been gone for years now. Ouch. Then after the HAs left, Maria brought up a TV show she was watching on channel 4 last night about Autoerotic Asphixiation. Yep, suffocating while having sex and how it heightens the 'bodies reaction' so to speak. Well as you can guess it was weird enough with just Maria Plaza, Breanne and I. But then next thing I know, Doreen comes in, joins us at the table and jumps right in on the conversation. She then told us all to promise we wouldn't try it. I just sat there and shook my head.

Anyways, getting a little misty again so I might just leave you to it. It's okay, I know the first few days will be the hardest I know. I should imagine you've far more of an adjustment to make at your end. Hope you are okay all things considered. Know I am thinking of you and honestly do wish you were here. But I also know that you needed to go home as well.

10 months and 28 days to go!!!
Rachael :-)