Hiya

Hi,

How am I doing? Well it depends on the time of the day!! Evenings are the worst, as are mornings when I wake up. Other than that it's all under control. I think. I dont know. I still have moments where I well up. I don't say this to sound horrible and in no way is this meant in a horrible way towards you. But life without Erin is a lot harder than life without Ruth. I guess we had that extra two months at the end and I dunno, it's just really hard to adjust.

The new room is okay but will always be Ruth's room. I hate the bed, I want my big HA bed back and it was lower to the floor. I had my room warming party last night, I had Erin M, Priyanka and Eri come, then Erin S came when she got back from the Theatre. Kristina was no where to be seen and Rebecca was out on Program with the Short Break ladies. We watched Lost, drank wine and ate cheese...it was nice I guess. Still, this place isn't home any more, all the people that made it home have now gone. I am seriously questioning if I want to stay another 10 months.

It was great talking to you the other night. Why? Because for the first time in two months you sounded like things were starting to settle and turn out sorta kinda how you wanted them too. You sound a lot more positive. You are starting to sound like you again and it's fantastic. I felt really good after getting off the phone, I was happy things were starting to work out for you again. And I seriously would have loved to come to Pack Holiday. If you have another in the New Year and want an extra body, please let me know. Enjoy every moment, I know you will.

Sunday afternoon is the Brownie Christmas Carols we got invited to. Monique is coming with me but we were going down to see Janet afterwards, she's now not coming. I guess that's okay. I probably need three days to myself away from Pax to try sort myself out. Other than that I am looking forward to Christmas in Stafford with my host family from a few years back. Again Monique was going to come, but isn't now.

Remember, if you win the lotto, come visit or something!! I mean you can come visit even if you don't win the lotto...any visitors would be nice. And an International Day next year, look out Ruth will be back in the building!! Just out of curiousity, when did you start as Program Assistant and how long did it go for??

While it is nice to know that two people care, the fact that one is in Ireland and one is in America doesn't much help the fact I'd like them to be here with me! And I promise, I will get to Ireland to see you!!

For now I have to get back to work.
Take care and we shall talk soon.

Rachael :-)